It's been days or weeks or even months since you and your ex called it quits. And you're fine. You're convinced everything happens for a reason, and you’'l be better off with someone else someday. You rarely even think of him. Until you do.
BREAK UP WITH YOUR EX
If you decided to end your relationship, people around you might have a hard time accepting your decision. Of course, they don't know all the details that made you take such a bold step. And it might also be a certain inertia that keep them away from understanding your decision; they could be caught in their own perception about your relationship, or how you should handle it.
Sometimes the recovery period after a failed relationship lasts as long as—or longer—than the relationship. The circumstances in every relationship may be different, but post-breakup emotions are as universal as the stages of grief. As part of our "Break Up With Your Ex" initiative, geared at helping readers finally let go of past loves, we asked YourTango Experts to answer the big breakup questions we've all asked.
Getting your ex back is all you can think about after hearing a few deadly words; "It's over" or "This isn't working for me." Everything that you've counted on and known until now is suddenly gone. Your life plans, your hopes, your dreams and a part of yourself feels utterly lost. You are left with a broken heart and a huge, great, gaping hole in your life. You feel like your whole life has been shattered to bits and you just don't know how you will survive. Getting through the next 60 seconds after hearing those fateful words feels like an eternity and you are sure you now know what dying really feels like.
Why do you need to break off all ties with your ex? We're asking you to tell us in 10 answers or less! We've received some remarkable responses so far. Vote on which one you think is the best reason to break up with your ex!
"My ex drove by me today and I almost threw up. I couldn't believe how that wave of nausea hit me. It has been a whole year and I thought I was over him. I can't believe it. Luckily, I was near a Starbucks so I ran in to the bathroom, sat on the throne and composed myself. Will I ever get over him?"
Eighty-five percent of readers in a recent YourTango survey said they struggle with breakups and could use a "breakover"—aka an internal and external makeover aimed at helping them move on. One of the best methods to a successful "breakover" is through exercise—in fact, survey respondents listed exercise as one of the top three methods for getting over a breakup.
We've all heard about how important it is to forgive. This might be a lesson that your parents or religious and spiritual leaders taught you when you were a young child. In most people's minds, "forgiveness" is something kind and beneficial. It is also expected. As great as forgiveness is, few people genuinely do it.
Dear Sara, I was recently in an 8-month relationship with a man whom I was starting to fall in love with, and things started getting more difficult because he recently had a baby with an ex girlfriend. I was well aware of this situation (which had happened before we even met) but thought why not give this a try because be was/is a great guy, I thought it would be worthwhile because we both felt the same for each other.
Neil Sedaka had it right. Breaking up IS hard to do. But WHY is it so hard? Because we are sentimental beings, desiring of connection. Because we’ve been told that ‘partnering’ is the path to happiness. Because it just feels good to have your best pal around and because there is no rule book or magic pill for getting rid of the longing. When going through a break up, we are in fact, experiencing a death. While it may just be emotional, it carries all of the hallmarks of a physical passing.
What happens when you're already broken up, but just can't break up with the past? It's bad enough to end things with a person, but to have to say adieu to memories and the invisible, yet somehow tangible, threads that connect you to a former relationship can be even harder. Here are a few (healthy) ways to break up with your ex.
After a painful breakup, there are plenty of ways to deal with the emotions you're feeling: you can cry them out, distract yourself from them or immediately try to replace them with happy thoughts. But, if it's months later and you still can't seem to shake those sad feelings or memories of your ex, what are you supposed to do?
They may be the among the most famous and beautiful women in the world, but, like anyone else, even A-list celebs go through the breakup blues. From Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon's retrospective revelations to Jennifer Love Hewitt's pragmatic advice, all of these women are proof that, while breakups may feel like the end of the world, they are really just the beginning to something new.
Everyone has a reason to break up with their ex. Sometimes, it's because he's gay and it's definitely time to move on. Othertimes, it's because no matter who you're currently with, your old love is still preventing you from moving on. From now until Feb. 12, we're holding a contest where we are asking you to tell us, in 10 words or less, why you need to break up with your ex. Here are 12 of our favorite entries we've recieved so far.
Can you visualize your post-divorce self as a blooming flower opening, thriving, growing, and maturing? The visual that you have of your “post-divorce self” may play a large role in how you recover from the stress after going through a divorce. Studies have found that there are individual differences between people who “blossom” after a divorce and those who experience depressive symptoms and psychological distress.
According to a recent survey we conducted with over 1,300 of our readers, 84 percent agree that a breakup is the perfect opportunity for self-improvement, and 64 percent do so by changing something about their appearance. You may call that a makeover, but hunny, it's really a "breakover."