One of the hardest things to do in any relationship after a breakup or divorce is to say good-bye and accept that it has ended. Moving on is something that you have to do, but when the pain and heartache is fresh, it's hard to know how to handle a breakup or divorce. Your brain is foggy from the shock and you can't see past the feelings of rejection you are swimming in. So what steps can you take to ease your pain?
BREAK UP AND DIVORCE
If you agreed to one or more of these surrogate markers for being stuck on your ex, chances are pretty good that you have not gotten over the divorce or breakup. Thankfully, getting unstuck starts with the awareness that you are stuck. Once recognized, becoming unstuck is simply a matter of developing a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA).
Since the announcement last week, many people are speculating about what made Katie Holmes file for divorce from Tom Cruise. She appeared to have everything a girl could dream of: an amazing career, a devilishly handsome husband, a beautiful daughter and more money than a person could spend in a lifetime. What was Katie's deciding factor? Here are two possible answers.
Jessica can't deny it anymore. She's tried to pretend that her marriage to Doug is just fine. She's held out hope that the prickly dynamics between she and Doug would soon pass. After their most recent argument, Jessica stopped pretending. For the first time in a long while, she could fully see-- and feel-- how far apart she and Doug have become. She has been asking friends and searching online for referrals for a coach that she and Doug could work with and maybe save their marriage...before it ends in divorce. She hopes it isn't too late.
For one reason or another, your relationship ended and like many people, you want him or her back. You want to get who you had back and you've got a good idea of how to accomplish this monumental task. Of course, the relevant question here should be "Should you try to get your ex back?" There are good reasons and there are bad reasons to get back together with someone. It's all about examining the cause of the breakup and the reasons behind your current urge to get back together with him or her.
Is it taking you longer than you expected to get over your ex? If it's been over a year and you still feel despondent on your old anniversary, take heart: you're not alone. In this video, psychotherapist, author and YourTango Expert Julie Orlov offers advice to one reader who still struggles with her breakup long after it's ended.
One of the hardest things about the end of a relationship is the feeling that you have no control over your circumstances. Stress associated with uncertainty renders an already overwhelming situation even worse. All influence you once had over your ex has disappeared, and your instincts tell you to resist the situation, even if that's not the most helpful approach possible
Hi Essy. I really need some advice. Now I saw what you said about the rule of thumb being three months, but my ex and I have been ‘dating’ for about three months and in a relationship for about 6 weeks. I made some major mistakes in our relationship, like the fact that he is always hanging around his female friends, or the fact that he let one female friend stay over at his house on her way to Saskatchewan to see her boyfriend.
It's official. It's over. Actually it's been over for quite some time now. Then why are you still stuck with your ex? You may think you're doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can't shimmy away from him/her. Truth be told even if you aren't in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!
Can you visualize your post-divorce self as a blooming flower opening, thriving, growing, and maturing? The visual that you have of your “post-divorce self” may play a large role in how you recover from the stress after going through a divorce. Studies have found that there are individual differences between people who “blossom” after a divorce and those who experience depressive symptoms and psychological distress.
Following up on my previous post on the Museum of Broken Relationships, I bring you these recent findings published by the American Heart Association focusing on the physical ramifications of a “broken heart.” According to research reported in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association*, the grief of a “broken heart” can produce serious health considerations, not the least of which is a significant increase in the risk of heart attack.
How? It’s one of the deepest most thought provoking words that we utilize to communicate. When it's used to begin analyzing the “gay bomb revelation” it can make us feel really small and incompetent. How could I not have known he was gay? How did I let myself get sucked into her gay charade? How will I ever face my friends as the idiot who married a “gay?”
Why would anyone want their ex back? I must get asked this a hundred times a week! They love to point out, your ex is your ex for a reason, right? Well not necessarily. Recently, I have been inundated with people that want their ex’s back. When the dust settles many people realize that what they had with their ex is really worth salvaging.