The red flags are obvious. You just need to stop rationalizing his flaws.
If you could instantly recognize that a guy is trouble, then you'd think the divorce rate would be a heck of a lot lower... right? Debra Weiner is the author of How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband, and shared a few of her insights on how to do just that in a recent Huffington Post article.
Start practicing these steps and you'll soon be saying YES to the things that really matter.
How many times do you say “Yes” when you’d really rather say “No” or maybe “I don’t know, let me think about it and get back to you?” Are you the first one with your hand up when the call goes out for a new PTO President, for someone to run the office basketball pool, coach the soccer team, organize the fundraiser or run for the Board of Education? These are just a few of the many, many ways that we are asked to serve in our families, places of employment and communities.
Most singles complain about dating but there are some real benefits to getting out there.
There are some people who LOVE to date. They enjoy meeting new people and soak up the attention from the opposite sex. These singles are constantly on dating sites looking for their next fling or trolling the bars for the next Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Most of you probably don’t fall into that category. Whether you have been on the dating circuit for a while or have refused to participate at all, if you hate to date you may need to open your eyes to a new way of looking at this necessary exercise on the path to true love.
Once you identify your non-negotiables, you have to be willing to set--and stick to--your boundaries
One of the most important steps on any Dignity Dater's journey is setting appropriate boundaries. For those of you who have that covered, keep in mind that I'm not just speaking about telling a guy "no" when it comes to sex or asking that he be on time. I'm talking about the types of boundaries that set your stomach a-twitter simply by envisioning the conversation in which you have to say "no," face the retaliation, see the look of dismay or have the argument that ensues once you draw the line.
By simply accepting a friend request, are you actually masking bigger problems?
If I accepted his friend request, I'd get a glimpse into his airbrushed life: his wife, his children, his vacations. But I wondered what my husband would think of my journey down memory lane. It seemed unfair to have an intimate thought that didn’t include him. Yet I was happily married. And the friendship would be innocent, right?
It is never too late to learn about your boundaries.
“Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.”-Anonymous
It is never too late to learn about your boundaries. I am coming to believe that it is perhaps one of the aspects of living that most defines our maturity and facility for accomplishing our goals.
Do you find yourself taking on too much and then feeling irritable and hurried? Are you so compassionate that you:
• Reach out to others and extend yourself way beyond your emotional, physical and financial needs.
• Agree to do something and than anguish about your decision, wishing you had said no from the start.
It’s that time of year again. To buy, host, decorate and exchange; to stand in line, shuttle between families and swear like Russell Crowe when the person in front of you at Best Buy takes too long to pay for that Inception DVD with exact change. Calendars get full and tensions can run high.
Figuring out what's acceptable once you've settled down.
Commandments about not flirting with anyone else when you're in a relationship—especially a long relationship—are totally unrealistic. That's the kind of etiquette we all profess out loud, but isn't a truism in the messiness of real life.
Educate people in your life about your boundaries. Calmly and respectfully inform them about how they can and cannot behave around you. Let people know what you want and don't want, what you like and don’t like.