Is this relationship Healthy? What is a healthy relationship? It’s a good question I think. One I intend to explore over the next few weeks in this post. I say explore not answer, because although I know what the ingredients are for a healthy relationship I also know that in order for YOU to know what is healthy for you it takes some investigation. During the next few weeks as we explore this together I invite you to write me with your own insights into what makes a healthy relationship or your particular questions on the subject.
The idea of a first blind can be terrifying. You don't know what to expect; you worry about whether or not the person will like you ... not to mention whether or not you'll like him! How should you act? What should you wear? Where should you go? How can you make sure you're safe? I recommend setting your boundaries and expectations about dating before you even make the first contact. And be yourself. Be yourself even more on the first few dates than you are in your daily life.
If you could instantly recognize that a guy is trouble, then you'd think the divorce rate would be a heck of a lot lower... right? Debra Weiner is the author of How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband, and shared a few of her insights on how to do just that in a recent Huffington Post article.
How many times do you say “Yes” when you’d really rather say “No” or maybe “I don’t know, let me think about it and get back to you?” Are you the first one with your hand up when the call goes out for a new PTO President, for someone to run the office basketball pool, coach the soccer team, organize the fundraiser or run for the Board of Education? These are just a few of the many, many ways that we are asked to serve in our families, places of employment and communities.
There are some people who LOVE to date. They enjoy meeting new people and soak up the attention from the opposite sex. These singles are constantly on dating sites looking for their next fling or trolling the bars for the next Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Most of you probably don’t fall into that category. Whether you have been on the dating circuit for a while or have refused to participate at all, if you hate to date you may need to open your eyes to a new way of looking at this necessary exercise on the path to true love.
One of the most important steps on any Dignity Dater's journey is setting appropriate boundaries. For those of you who have that covered, keep in mind that I'm not just speaking about telling a guy "no" when it comes to sex or asking that he be on time. I'm talking about the types of boundaries that set your stomach a-twitter simply by envisioning the conversation in which you have to say "no," face the retaliation, see the look of dismay or have the argument that ensues once you draw the line.
If I accepted his friend request, I'd get a glimpse into his airbrushed life: his wife, his children, his vacations. But I wondered what my husband would think of my journey down memory lane. It seemed unfair to have an intimate thought that didn’t include him. Yet I was happily married. And the friendship would be innocent, right?
“Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.”-Anonymous It is never too late to learn about your boundaries. I am coming to believe that it is perhaps one of the aspects of living that most defines our maturity and facility for accomplishing our goals.
Do you find yourself taking on too much and then feeling irritable and hurried? Are you so compassionate that you: • Reach out to others and extend yourself way beyond your emotional, physical and financial needs. • Agree to do something and than anguish about your decision, wishing you had said no from the start.
It’s that time of year again. To buy, host, decorate and exchange; to stand in line, shuttle between families and swear like Russell Crowe when the person in front of you at Best Buy takes too long to pay for that Inception DVD with exact change. Calendars get full and tensions can run high.
If your life is filled with discord and you don’t feel that others respect you, it's time to set your boundaries. Each of us experiences our reality in four ways: 1. Body - what we look like 2. Thinking - how we give meaning to incoming data 3. Feelings - our emotional response 4. Behavior - what we do or don't do Intact boundaries give measured protection to your body, thinking, feelings and behaviors as you evaluate and assess the words and actions of other people in your life. You filter your experiences through your cognitive mind and your feelings. Through the use of your boundaries you determine which words and actions you will accept and which you will block when they are unacceptable. We set boundaries to protect our body, thinking, feelings and behavior. This week give some thought to how well you set and maintain your own boundaries and honor the boundaries of others. What are your boundaries? Where do you draw the line? How do you react when someone sets a boundary on you?
If your life is filled with more of what you don't want and not enough of what you do want, it's time to set your boundaries. Boundaries define a person's sense of self (i.e., who he or she is as an individual). Setting boundaries makes others feel safe around you and allows you to feel safe in your environment. It is a way to exhibit self-respect, thereby increasing the respect shown to you by others. Boundaries… Help other people know how to treat you. Define your sense of self. Delineate how much you have to give of time, money or energy. Are dividing lines between you and everyone else that represents both physical and emotional limits others may not violate. Separate your needs, wants, desires, thoughts and feelings from others. Setting and keeping your boundaries and honoring the boundaries of others are among the most challenging and confusing behaviors in relationships.