Call me a cynic, but nothing breeds disappointment and disillusionment quite like Valentine's Day. If you're in a relationship, then it's a day loaded with romantic expectations. If you're single, then you're likely to be dwelling on what you don't have and feeling lonely in the process. In addition, all parties—single, married, dating—will be suffering from a mild form of temporary amnesia. It happens every year. People tend to forget all the romantic gestures and moments they've experienced on the 364 days leading up to Valentine's Day, and all that matters is what happens on February 14, and February 14 alone. Call it amnesia, or tunnel vision. Both terms are rather accurate, and both require various coping mechanisms.
It was a quick wake up call to learn that my husband didn't feel I honored him--and then I set out to learn what honoring your spouse really means. In a world where traditional values pull us women in one direction and modern notions pull us in another, are we really still expected to submit to our husbands?
Before you start calling up wedding coordinators and venues, before you start looking for a dress and picking out a cake, put away your emotions long enough to ask yourself a few questions.
Writing about love is daunting. It really is. To paint an accurate illustration of the way I felt when I first began tackling this topic, I ask you to envision me—a skinny, uncoordinated white girl measuring all of 5’3”—facing off with Shaquille O’Neal on the basketball court. The entire scenario is silly and farcical, and that’s exactly how I felt trying to form accurate conclusions about love, a force that is much like a giant on a basketball court. It’s towering and intimidating and has the capacity to undo me. The challenge was intriguing, however, so I couldn’t say no.
Sometime last year I was riding in the car with my husband, and I saw his gym membership card hanging from his rear-view mirror. I leaned over and asked him, "When was the last time you used that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn't remember. That question got us both talking about the upcoming year and thinking about setting a few resolutions.
A number of Episcopalians have been unhappy with the denomination's recent liberal changes, things like a shift toward pro-choice views and acceptance of gay marriage, even ordaining openly homosexual bishops. In response, the Catholic Church is opening up a nationwide diocese to ex-Episcopalians who would like to join Catholicism as a group; a priest and congregation, so church leaders and members who are already comfortable with one another will have a chance to stick together. They will be expected to abide by the Catholic Church's governance, support their conservative views and acknowledge the pope. But since priests in the Episcopal Church have never had to practice celibacy, and many are already married with children, the Catholic Church is granting an exemption to their long-practiced celibacy code... but is it fair? And should it even be allowed in the faith?
In case you've been out of iPhone contact for the past couple weeks, here's the latest: Over New Year's weekend, Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry. This is just musing and speculation, but what if Katy and Russell began the exit from the "honeymoon phase" of their romance, and realized their values and life goals were totally different? How can you avoid that mistake in your life?
Your heart and your instincts are often at war, and there's always a blurred line between them. The old adage says to "follow your heart, but trust your instincts." I've always found that statement difficult to make sense of. If your instincts say leave and your heart says stay, then which do you listen to?
Statistics show most people still want to get married someday. And it seems some women I know want to get married in the worst way. I worry about them succumbing to the pressure, sacrificing everything to get to their big days.
Let's face it: if your ultimate goal in dating is to find someone to love, then you will likely wind up frustrated at some point in the process. Frustrated with the games, the communication mishaps, the sheer number of dinner dates you have to sit through before finding a love connection. As Charlotte York so aptly stated in one memorable episode of Sex and the City, "I've been dating since I was 15. I'm exhausted! Where is he?" It's a fair question. However, in asking it, many tend to forget that dating is not a very successful endeavor... statistically speaking. Throughout the course of a woman's life, she may go out on dates with 30 different men, fall in love with three, and marry one. It doesn’t take a mathematical genius to figure out that those odds aren’t exactly stellar.