Because homes, Sarah Susanka writes in The Not So Big House, require both private and open spaces. "Sometimes we feel like being with others, and other times we need solitude." Our home lacked a private place where we could cocoon ourselves to repair after a stressful day. Even our master bath, without a door to close off the toilet, had become a sort of public gathering spot. And not a very sanitary one. How can you sort through what you feel when there's no separation?
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Thanksgiving seems to have become "Thanksmas" in our culture. What if we took the time to really nurture Thanksgiving? I would argue that it would be good for you and your marriage. Giving thanks, even when times are tough, is good for us as human beings. Here are some 6 ideas to put Thanksgiving back on your radar.
While the Pew Research data had many people ringing the death knell for marriage, those headlines don't tell the whole story. Dr. Corey Allan, family and marriage therapist and Traditional Love blogger noted, "The recent reporting of the Pew Research doesn't share the whole story when it comes to marriage. If you simply report the reverse of what was actually reported you'll read that six in 10 people believe marriage is not obsolete. And you'll read that 70% are optimistic about marriage and family life.
Each week, Traditional Love rounds up the best (and worst) marriage news from the week. And this week, has plenty of both. Not only are we all in a tizzy over the next royal wedding, but apparently, all this fuss over the dress is just fluff (of the tulle variety). According to a Pew Research poll, 40% of Americans think marriage is obsolete. So, why do we care so much about Kate and Will's fairytale romance?
Not everyone has the blessing of good in-laws. Many spouses still may feel like they must compete against their in-laws for the time and attention of their spouse. This is especially true during the first few years of marriage. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with great in-laws. But this didn’t just happen by chance. They had to learn this skill, as did I. Like it or not, the in-laws are part of your life. And the holidays are often one of the most difficult times to navigate the in-law waters
At home with two children, I’d learned a home could make you lonely and therefore unhappy. But could a home make you happy, and thereby improve your marriage? Or are you who you are, regardless of the space you inhabit?
I married a man who invented the strong-silent type. He is quiet, logical and often taken aback by my less logical more emotional responses to issues such as him eating the last cookie or telling me that maybe I might look better in another outfit. And while he gets how to do our taxes and exactly how dew point relates to airplanes leaving trails in the sky, he doesn't get that sometimes, I need to know how he feels about an issue and "nothing" is not an emotion. Curiously, it took a mutual affection for the show Dexter, which chronicles the life of a serial killer trying to function in a normal relationship, to get my husband to open up.
It's true that having gays in the military is not a novel concept. Israel, for one, allows open homosexuality in the military, and some military intelligence units are known to have large numbers of gay soldiers. And history is replete with examples of homosexuality and military service. In Plato's Symposium, Phaedras writes that "no man is such a craven that the influence of Love cannot inspire him with a courage that makes him equal to the bravest born." The idea was that a soldier would fight more strongly for someone they were in love with than someone they weren't. Which, when you think about it, explains why all the Spartans in "300" ran around in loincloths. (And yes, I quoted Plato… gotta use that expensive liberal arts education for something…)
Every week, Traditional Love rounds up some of the best links to marriage and relationship news from around the web. This week, we're talking about the premier of Teen Mom and whether society is more likely to judge younger moms than older mom and can Skype really save a realtionship? It did for Kendra Wilkenson. And while we did run our own story on the show Sister Wives, we're obsessed with these non-traditional traditional relationships. Would you take on a second spouse if your faith required it?
My husband's brothers are fundamentally different from me. They talk guns, hunting, fishing, baseball and the intricacies of making lures. I like to talk about books or tell the story I heard about an old woman hiding her scandalous photos in her safety deposit box (true story). To bridge that communication gap, I make my brother-in-laws pies. An apple pie is the universal language for, "I think fishing lures are boring, but you are awesome."