Matchmaking is an old practice. On the frontier, because farms were far apart and it was hard to meet other eligible singles, families used dances to set up their children. In medieval times, Catholic clergymen and Jewish rabbis played Cupid within their communities. For centuries, European royalty consistently matched up their heirs-to-the-throne with heirs from other countries for diplomatic alliances. So this matchmaking business? It's not a new thing.
Finding a church can be a time-consuming and stressful experience. It takes a great amount of patience. On average, you can only visit one, or maybe two churches a week, so the search to find a church can drag out over the course of weeks or several months. Longer, even. Years. So, how do you deal as a couple?
It seems we're perpetutally trying to answer this question: Is chivalry truly dead? And if not, should it be? In Jenna Birch's recent article "10 Chivalrous Acts That Make Women Melt," she discusses the long-lost art of chivalry. Basic acts, such as holding doors for women, have become all-too rare, according to Birch. In response, one male reader wrote this: "So, women want to be treated just like men—except when they don't."
My mother chose my husband. Thirty years later, I chose my daughter's husband. No, these were not arranged marriages. They were simply the influences of a mother upon her daughter's choice for a mate.
How do you stir up and keep passion alive? It starts with desire. You have to want it. You have to be deliberate about going after a passionate, intimate marriage, and be willing to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. Engaging your heart fully in the joyful pursuit of a passionate marriage is the first step toward attaining it. I've come up with four key ways to pump up the passion in any relationship. Share them with your spouse, and give them a shot. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised and rewarded by the outcome.
Most people think of counseling as the kiss of death for relationships, but this couple opted to go for it anyway. And without that mindset. Now they're on the other side, and one wife is ready to share insights from their sessions with the shrink.
I find chivalry to be a gorgeous thing. Most women I know are a little like that. We love our modern independence in life and in love, but deep down, we love when guys treat us like ladies. As women in their twenties will attest, it's become increasingly rare. Case in point: My friend gushingly told me the other day that a man had been ultra-polite. ("See that guy? He held the door for me ... Like, awwww!") Gentlemanly behavior sets our hearts aflutter. We want to see it, and many of us are waiting on it.
Last month I wrote an article about Christian dating from a man's perspective. I interviewed several single guys in Los Angeles and New York, ranging in age from 28 to 40. I asked how they felt about dating within their church community and their answers were rather surprising. Most had tried it, yet were left feeling disillusioned in the process. As a result, they had chosen to search for love some place else. Over the past month, I've received hundreds of comments from readers who related to the article and had insightful perspectives to add to the conversation. It became clear that there was more to say on this topic. Much more.
So, you found the perfect guy, you settled down and you married him. Now what? Then comes a baby in a baby carriage, right? Well, only if you've had a long talk with your partner and agreed that kids are the next step for your relationship.
Can memes have any power during marriage? In a word, yes. (Stay with me now.) According to Dr. Martin Seligman, who was a past president of the American Psychological Association, positive psychology can use memes to "flourish" relationships. To flourish in the psychological sense is to live life abundantly by actively cultivating positive connections.