You've no doubt heard the term Selective Listening (SL). Kids are experts at this ("I didn't hear you ask me take out the garbage! Honest."), and husbands come in a close second. I'm ok with this; I've found ways to overcome SL. It's simple really—after I've asked them to do something, I inquire: "Did you hear what I just said?" or "Do you understand?" or "Hello?! Are you listening to me?" or "Please take those things out of your ears and listen to me." Sometimes I forget to follow up for confirmation of … Read More

I’ve been on a bit of a blog-writing-hiatus. Switching jobs, training my replacement, and helping my dad promote the book he just wrote (see www.beyondfossilfools.com to hear the podcast we made, and search Beyond Fossil Fools at YouTube to see the video) has kept my brain too occupied and full to write. Then, on the 5th we left for a road-trip to Canada’s mountains-majesty to attend a destination wedding. We just got home a few days ago. Much more on this later.

Today, I want to write about something I’ve been thinking about for a … Read More

My son graduated last weekend. Up to the actual day of the ceremony, I was doing a dang good job of ignoring/avoiding what was coming up. That my first born will be leaving soon. That this chapter is now closed: the one where he grows up with me there to guide him. That I’m old enough to have a son who is graduating from high school. I wasn’t thinking about any of this.

Case in point: A few weeks ago when my husband realized that a gig he had set up last fall fell on graduation weekend. I felt bad … Read More

Spring is here!  In Minnesota, this is a big deal.  More so this year it seems; winter dragged on forever.  (Maybe we say this every year.)  The sunshine and warmth has me feeling great:  I’m happier, funnier, friskier, kinder, sexier.  In fact, I feel lighter somehow (despite the pounds I put on post-Caribbean-vacation).  Is this the work of sunshine?

I spent almost the entire weekend outside.  I shopped (greenhouses), planted, mulched, cleaned up fall debris, etc….  It was relaxing, invigorating, and satisfying.  The only thing missing was my husband.  And miss him I did and do.

Steve’s been super busy – day … Read More

Do you have a TV in your bedroom?  We do.  It was installed there a few years ago in preparation for my back surgery recovery.  It has stayed there ever since.  Yes, in the face of the experts that rail against it, we are keeping the TV in the bedroom.  We like it there: damn the consequences.

Note: We watch pretty rarely – never the news – usually movie - maybe a few times a month.  I think moderation here is key to why it works for us.

Consequences?   If you haven’t heard, many studies have been done and many, many psychologists … Read More

A few days ago, I was asking my 17 year old son a series of have-you-gotten-blank-and-blank-done-college-application questions. To which he replied with a series of exasperated yeahs until he reached his manly limit, I guess, and said, “Mom, would you just stop nagging me?” I think I heard my husband murmur, “Uh-oh.” I started to say, “WHAT?!!?” when he interrupted to quickly say, “I just mean, mom, that I have it under control! You don’t need to worry about it. Really….it’s all good.” Even better, I’m sure, after a little speech about motherhood, worrying, … Read More

So, I flipped through an old magazine in the doctor’s waiting room and came across an interview of Dr. Phil and his wife Robin. I can’t remember the title, but it referred to the couple dishing out Five Secrets to save your marriage. I didn’t write down the title, but I did write down their categories: Unrealistic Expectations, Money Miseries, Meddling Family Members, Kid’s Who Won’t Listen, and Career Concerns. So I guess these were the big marriage-breaking problems and they had the answers.

And they did have some solid common sense advice. It was all … Read More

My sisters and I are following a budding romance.  Well, actually there are quite a few people watching to see what happens.  Yes, mostly women, although it’s not like the men close their ears if we give them an update.  It doesn’t seem to bother the two involved.  They are quite open about what’s going on.  Well, they’re not exactly open to all of us – only my sister gets the called-in updates.  But we have a phone network set up.  I’m savoring it (pathetic, ain’t it?) while it lasts because we all know that sooner or later this couple … Read More

Oh, what a vacation! The best ever. If you have a chance to plan a big and special trip, look into chartering a Catamaran and sailing around the British Virgin Islands. It was heaven. A big (biggest) part of the vacation bliss was hanging with my terrific travel mates: three other couples (as well as the incredible couple Captain Gunner and Cook Megan – we wanted to bring them home!). We all got along famously – not an ounce of tension the whole trip. Unbelievable, really.

We spent 5 days on the boat. … Read More

We’re going on vacation in a few days.  I have been incredibly distracted this whole week with dreaming about it.  Nine days in the Caribbean.  Sailing.  Sunning.  Relaxing.  Finally, it’s here:  The motivation behind going to the club the last few months.

As you undoubtedly know, the thought of trying on suits with a 3-way mirror staring back at you and the opposite of candle-lighting showing everything you try so desperately to hide is a terrific motivator.  (And a bit terror inducing.)   It got me back to the gym, lifting and tread-milling for months. I waited until the last moment to … Read More