I've dated several guys who, from what I can tell, have a take it or leave it attitude toward sex, with an emphasis on leaving it. Why, you may ask, did I, someone who writes about sex almost every day, wind up with them? I don't really know, but I did. And the worst part about it is not the physical withdrawal; I'm not the kind of girl who needs to do it every day (though that would be nice). The worst part is the feeling of rejection that cuts really, really close to home. When I experience that, it's like taking all the fears I have about my attractiveness and boiling them into one pointed barb: you're not pretty/sexy/fun/cool/hot/exciting enough to f**k.
Let's face it: Some days even the best of relationships are hard work. So learning how to mend hurts and tear down walls of conflict is part and parcel to keeping a healthy and vibrant relationship going strong. Here, Bill Ferguson fills us in on three love pitfalls to avoid.
A new study published in the March issue of the Review of General Psychology found that a surprisingly high number of long-term couples, including some who had been married over 20 years, reported that they still felt deeply in love with their partners. The researchers draw a distinction between romantic love and passionate love. "Romantic love," the researchers say, "has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety." Well, if that’s the case, I’ll take romance over passion any day. According to the researchers, there are some "tricks" to making that romantic kind of love endure for the long-term.
Much in the same vain as our beloved He's Just Not That Into You, comedian Steve Harvey—like comedian Greg Behrendt—sets out to enlighten ladies with more straight talk about men. He's penned his first relationship book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, and not surprisingly this is another ode to the sex-crazed simplicity of guys and how women need to stop tolerating their B.S.
What has Christie Nightingale learned from her decade of matchmaking? Who turns to her? What do they get from a matchmaker that they don't get elsewhere? And what do her clients have to teach the rest of us about love?
Love Bytes: three must-click sex, dating and relationship links. Stop lying to yourself. We all know the real reason why you want to "friend" your ex. [Star Tribune] "Like LinkedIn, it [Facebook] has the credibility of being a professional and social networking site," [therapist Mark] Laaser says. "It's a less obvious and blatant hunting ground for ex-lovers than classmates.com." But Laaser says motives often aren't innocent: "The population that I deal with is mainly doing it for the sexual buzz, the neurochemistry, the excitement of the pursuit." Yet another reason why it sucks to be a math major. [Buzzfeed] When we're talking about how we give handjobs, let's be clear about something. [Smitten]
Full of drama and endearment, Newlywedded steers clear of any soap box and instead offers a unique perspective from someone so confident in her spouse's ability to simultaneously delight and disgust her she is willing to share him with the rest of us.
Belgian researchers find that how a couple copes with infertility is determined more by their personalities and the nature of their relationship than by the ins and outs of the treatment itself, reports Reuters
Oxygen, a television network geared toward women, recently polled 2,000-plus women ages 18 to 24 to get a snapshot view of how young women view themselves and what values they hold dear, reports Reuters.
Thanks to today's young starlets, everyone from Tibetan monks to old New Englanders sitting around the cracker barrel knows that it is in vogue for women to wax off all their pubes. But to me, a bald bush on a grown woman is ridiculous and unattractive, a cultural byproduct of an increasingly pornified America. Its implication is disturbing—why is it supposed to be desirable for a woman's privates to look like a prepubescent child's? I don't feel the need to touch girl boobies in public for the edification of any watching spring-breakers, and by the same token I don't feel the need for my birth canal to be as fully on-display as a porn star's.