Apparently, drunk driving has historically been a thing only guys did. But apparently, since 1998, women have started to drive on the sauce as well. And apparently, this can be blamed quite specifically on Sex and the City.
In our younger, dumber days the unnecessary regrettable hook-up added proud, brag-worthy hair to our chest. We'd gladly regale in last night's mistakes over a round of brunch mimosas and a chorus of cackles. Of course, we'd swear on our eggs to never make such a trashtastic mistake again. Then we'd go home, sleep it off and do it again. And again. Alas, time makes everything old. Now we're ready to grab a Bloody Mary, discuss the headlines and travel the road less traveled: Self Control. If you too are cut out of the same impulsive cloth, we'll give you some pointers on calling it a night when you should. 1.) No ex sex. 2.) No walk of shame. 3.) Read a book. 4.) Do the opposite of your instincts.
Love Bytes: Four must-click sex, dating, and relationship links.
Grey's Anatomy has had its share of engagements, almost-weddings, marriages, divorces, affairs and everything in between, but after the engagement that we'd all been waiting for, a date has finally been set for the wedding we thought would never happen. After all of their hook-ups, break-ups, fights and even a partial-death, Meredith Grey finally has a ring, although it's not yet on her finger (she just carries it around), from Derek Shepherd, and the two will wed on May 14… a Thursday. MerDer, played by Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey, have a real-life wedding website at theknot.com "set up" by Dr. Izzie Stevens, that is replete with photos, the couple's story, even a gift registry. Show creator Shonda Rhime's said in an interview with USA Today, "I said, 'it should feel like a real wedding website.'"
When it came time for her 10-year high school reunion she was not feeling the urge to revisit the past. So instead of RSVPing for herself, comedy writer Andrea Wachner hired a stripper to attend the reunion in her name, reports Bob Tourtellotte for Reuters.
If there's one thing I've learned writing these columns, it's that you ladies have penis on the brain. Which is why I'm going to admit that my penis is so huge, so gargantuan, that when I get excited, I barely have enough skin with which to whistle. Seriously. It's like three grapefruits in a gym sock. Trash bags are my preferred prophylactic. I ain't bragging or nothin'. Does size really matter? How do you know your vagina isn't all floppy? I knew a dude once who described sleeping with a woman as "driving a hatchback through the Lincoln Tunnel." I am convinced y'all make so much of a fuss about size as a passive-aggressive way to get back at dudes who you perceive as judging you solely by your boobs, waist, and butt. But when it comes to sex, good sex, bite-mark-on-the-shoulder sex, we are the sum of our physical, and emotional, parts. Otherwise, you're not having sex. You're just slapping bits.
Just when we thought it was fine for a woman to marry at any age she damn-well pleased, some guy in Texas has come along to correct us. And sadly, the guy is not just any guy, but a sociologist who teaches at a legitimate university (University of Texas-Austin) and publishes books that are considered academic (the latest is titled Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers). His name is Mark Regnerus. And in a new piece for the Washington Post, he says that — while he sees no issue with the fact that men are marrying later these days (28 years old for the first marriage now, as opposed to 23 years old in 1970) — he is disheartened to learn that women are now also choosing to marry later as well — around the spinsterly age 26.
Rowan Pelling, former editor of The Erotic Review, answered this question in her latest sex advice column for the Daily Mail. A happily married woman with two small children wrote to Pelling complaining she only wants sex once or twice a month. Meanwhile, her husband wishes she’d be “normal” and put out a few times a week. She goes on to lament those “normal” bedroom marathon folks, and how she secretly thinks them all liars or exaggerators. Including a tarty French chick she worked with who ran into the office late out of breath, with sex hair blabbing about her animalistic boyfriend all the time. “Libido is a capricious thing,” she sighs.
Love Bytes: three must-click sex, dating, and relationship links. Do separate beds improve or hurt a relationship? [The Frisky] Would you ever have a themed wedding? [Shine] What not to say to very skinny man. [Lemondrop] So if you're dying to know more about that rail-thin Romeo, steering clear of these lightweight lines will ensure your chances of catching his attention are anything but slim.