What do you do when your man doesn't know how to treat you the way you want to be treated in bed? In this week's Savage Love, a young woman writes to Dan Savage about her desire for rough sex and her new boyfriend's seeming inability to give it to her. In order to remedy the situation, the woman has hatched a scheme: have a threesome with her new boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend, so that the new boyfriend can learn the basics of bondage, rape fantasies, etc. The new boyfriend, she tells Dan, is totally on board with the plan. Nonetheless, she can't help but wonder: "Am I being a selfish bitch?" and "Is it a bad sign that he's not satisfying me sexually after three months?"
In the cover story for this week's Time magazine, Caitlin Flanagan writes about what she deems the assault of marriage and the loss of the American ideal. Lately, we've been hearing other views—that the tumultuous economic times would inspire searches for committed relationships.
Before I got engaged, I used to think a couple's truest test of compatibility and readiness for marriage was living together. What could be more of a test, I reasoned, than successfully sharing the same space, splitting the bills, and delegating household chores while still enjoying each other's company and remaining sexually attracted to one another? That's why, when my boyfriend proposed after nearly a year and a half of co-habitation, I didn't hesitate in saying 'yes.' I'd lived with a boyfriend before—for over three years—and when that relationship eventually became more like brother-sister than boyfriend-girlfriend, I ended things and wondered if it was even possible for me to live with someone and continue loving him in the romantic sense. But then I met Drew and realized it was.
When we heard Steve McNair was possibly killed by his mistress, we wondered how many other beastly acts can be traced back to love gone wrong.
Love Bytes: Five must-click sex, love and relationship links.
Dr. Gail Saltz, relationship columnist for the Today Show, recently received a letter from a woman who is on the path to marriage and wants her husband-to-be to sign a prenuptial agreement. A lot of what she says is excellent — reassuring, clear and logical. But we can't help but wonder: Are reassurance and logic enough to persuade someone to sign a prenup who normally wouldn't even consider the idea? We're not entirely sure. Below are some of Saltz's key points on talking about prenups and our thoughts on them.
After the divorce papers are signed and the dividing up of items is complete, the break up is over. But the starting up of an entirely new life is just beginning. And not one thing is typically the same. Vicki Iovine, author of the Girlfriends' Guides book series writes with searing reality in the Huffington Post what life is like now that her marriage of 24 years is officially kaput.
While The Closer might be a police procedural at its core, it doesn't mean the show doesn't have a lot of heart. Much of that can be attributed to its leading lady, Kyra Sedgwick, who dons a somewhat irritating yet cute Georgia accent to play Deputy Police Chief Brenda Johnson. The Closer is airing its fifth season this summer, and Johnson, an expert at drawing confessions out of killers, is married for the first time. Her husband on the show is FBI Special Agent Fritz Howard (played by Jon Tenney) whom she has been dating since the show's first season. Despite only minutes of each episode devoted to her personal life, we have been able to learn much about love from the stubborn Chief Johnson.
Loyal readers of this blog know that I've been on my fair share of first dates, a much smaller number of second dates, and only one third date. Many of you have accused me of being too quick to close the door, and I see where you're coming from. But I'm a firm believer in holding out for the The Spark, and in my experience it's either there from the beginning or it's not (according to Erin, this is common among guys). So what does The Spark feel like? Well, there's no single definition, but here are four things I look for on a first date.
I love my best friend, I love my boyfriend. These two people who hold such special places in my heart should love each other like I love them. In theory, if I have enough in common with both of them to have such a strong bond with each, shouldn't the two of them also have the potential to form a real relationship with each other? It should be an all out love fest whenever the three of us get together...except it's not.