You’re almost 35 now and want nothing more than a flesh-and-blood child of your own with a man you love—more than you wanted that master’s degree, that great job you have, that beautiful house you bought with your own money or that strong, athletic body you worked so hard to get back after he broke your heart the last time and ran off with someone else.
Twentysomething guys are often thought of to be party- and booty-obsessed overgrown babies, but a new study reveals that most of them actually covet fatherhood! Biological clocks, stability and good, old-fashioned love are some of the reasons motivating men to have kids.
Ask almost any childless women in her 30s to name five things that have been on her mind lately, and there's a good chance she'll mention her biological clock. It may not be the first thing she names—her career, the economy, saving for a house, her parents' health, the health of her relationship, finishing her dissertation, fitting back into her skinny jeans, and finding someone to share her life with may be getting more of her attention; but for a vast majority of us, the idea of having kids is something we think about nearly as much, if not more, than almost everything else. After all, our biological clocks and the issues of when, whether, and how long we have left to procreate determine so many other variables in our life. And for those of us who wait until our 30s—a quickly growing number of us these days—it's a decision we face when the stakes are especially high.
Whether you are a grad student, a busy executive or a divorced mom, it seems as each year goes by more responsibilities are piled on and the faster time flies. You are starting to wonder whether you will ever find love, and your mom doesn't seem to help matters by reminding you that your biological clock is tiiiiccking. Before you cringe at the thought of fitting in another item on your already over-booked schedule, here is a list that you might find handy when it comes to finding time for dating.
There are a lot of reasons why Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow might have called it quits. His not-quite-ex-wife. Her touring schedule. Those garish, if not well-intended yellow rubber bracelets. The fact that she sang a duet with Kid Rock. And yet, when the Grammy-award winning singer and seven-time Tour de France champion/cancer survivor finally threw in the towel — after two and a half years of working out, working the red carpet, and working for a cure — it was actually due to something far less glitzy and a lot more human: Crow's 43-year-old biological clock.
According to a recent study by scientists at the University of Queensland, a Hugh Hefner-aged father may actually be detrimental to the child's cognitive abilities. Out of a pool of 33, 000 children it was found that those with the oldest fathers consistently scored lower on intelligence tests. Unfortunately, no exact age was pinpointed as too old. Rather, the scientists just witnessed a general decline with more mature dads—66 being the oldest father in the study. While, yes, the reasons behind a low IQ score could most certainly be blamed on a myriad of factors, researcher Professor John McGrath said the results were "startling" and goes so far as to say the age of the father is as important as the age of the mother. While we always thought of sperm as evergreen, new research proves that older men "accumulate more mutations" in their swimmers as they age.
Turns out researchers have found good enough reason. A new study done by the University College London and published in the Journal of Theoretical Biology shows that the longer you wait to seal the deal with the guy you're dating, the greater the chance that your relationship will last in the long haul. The study also found that men who can keep it in their pants longer are more reliable than those that can't, who are less likely to stick around for a relationship. In fact, accolade for women who wait is nothing new. In the late 1980's, a study of 5,232 married adults found that 12 percent reported marital dissatisfaction. Five years later, 78 percent of those who stuck it out in their "very unhappy marriages" said that their marriages were currently happy.
Is there a perfect time to start a family? Don't count on your body and fertility being ready when you are to have kids. Is having it all even possible when racing the biological clock? Jill Johnson explains the science of conception, exploring the ideas of career stability, age and desire for a more settled future.