Eroticism is Not a Competitve Sport
Men tend to be more goal-oriented than women, but both sexes run the risk of making sex less enjoyable by focusing too much on the "goal" of the Big O and not enough on enjoying the process.
Men tend to be more goal-oriented than women, but both sexes run the risk of making sex less enjoyable by focusing too much on the "goal" of the Big O and not enough on enjoying the process.
Marnia Robinson, author of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, thinks sex with orgasms lead to a dip in dopamine and thus depression, anxiety and uneasiness. She instead suggests angelic dual cultivation, orgasm-less sex.
There are two types of women in the world: women who are totally comfortable with masturbation and those who are ashamed of the act. I realize there are more than two types of women in the world, so forgive my rhetorical cheat. It's for a good cause. I don't know why some women are weird about pleasuring themselves. I am not, in fact, a woman. But to those who are embarrassed about it, please, think about rubbing one out for your boyfriend or husband tonight. He will love it. There are few spectacles as captivating as a woman getting herself off. It is pure sex on toast. Watching your girl squirm, growl, and hit the right buttons while you whisper dirty little secrets and improper commands is so hot, it makes my guts ache. It's vulnerable, and intimate, and epically eye-crossing.
Oxytocin is quite a busy hormone. When released in the brain, it facilitates sex, orgasm, birth and breastfeeding, as well as feelings of bonding, connection and trust. In her forthcoming book The Chemistry of Connecton: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy and Love, author and journalist Susan Kuchinskas describes the important role oxytocin plays in our love lives and how we can train our brain to better respond to love. In other words, we weren't born knowing how to love—we learn it.