BETRAYAL

Affairs are very difficult for many spouses to handle. They wonder how their partner could hurt them and how they will recover from this betrayal. However, is it possible that an affair is justified? Dr. Tammy Nelson presents a case where that may just be so.

As a couples therapist, one situation I’m confronted with often is when a relationship is shaken up by the discovery of a lie. It’s not always infidelity, but that is a classic example. In that first session with a couple who sees me after the discovery of an affair, both partners usually agree on what the problem is – one partner wronged the other, and that person typically sits in my office sheepishly, overcome by guilt, shame, and a vague sense of relief that the truth is finally out.

By Unlocked Love Matchmakers, Mary Wright for Galtime.Com rebuilding after betrayal Relationships can be challenging, but infidelity can create a hardship that causes the relationship to collapse. After discovering that your partner has been cheating, you may begin to question yourself and wonder how you missed the warning signs.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been writing about what I call the Seven Dwarves of Smallness. These little gremlins in your subconscious mind conspire to keep you small. They tell you all sorts of reasons why you can’t have, be, and do what you really want. They’re full of lies, but we believe them. They are the sons and daughters of FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

With so many picture perfect professionals jumping the moral fence, you might just wonder if you're better off dating the man with the ding on his record.

Infidelity — sexual, emotional, or, heaven forbid, both — can really tear a relationship apart. After all, once your partner commits the ultimate betrayal, how can you ever trust him/her again?

For many, an affair is a deal-breaker. It's the end of the relationship, a sign that the spouses need to move on, and a black and white issue with little recourse. But in longer marriages, especially when kids are involved, infidelity doesn't have to end the marriage. Some marriages can recover.

We believe it's possible to come out of the other side better and stronger as a couple, however, dramatic changes need to happen in order for the relationship to survive. This is not something that can change quickly or without effort. There’s a shift that must take place for both parties to rectify and move on — together.

Dealing with betrayal in your marriage is not easy but it is definitely possible. Keep in mind that divorce is not always the solution to the problem. You need to find out what has led to the infidelity in your marriage and get the help needed to recover from the trauma. Let's look at some of the steps you can take to move beyond the affair and get your marriage back on track!

Lately #FirstLady has been hearing from her ex’s that I was the one they seen themselves eventually marrying. Do these men really think that this is some type of compliment. Just think about it, he has just told me that I was some type of layaway plan that he was going to get back too! This got me thinking about if I was on layaway then where have you been shopping, while you were making your way back.

Is loyalty love's friend or its enemy? Does love bring us together or rip us apart? We face what Love in the Western World author Denis De Rougemont called "the passion-fidelity dilemma." We want love that lasts, but we also want passionate intensity, and we suspect that we will at some point have to choose which love is worth having, the epic but brief romance, or the companionship that goes the distance. We suspect that passion is like ripe peaches -- short-lived, but much to be preferred over fruit canned in cloying syrup. Love isn't shelf-stable.

When it comes to Internet romance, the status phrase "It's complicated" might just be the understatement of the decade. I would know, having just survived one of the most bizarre and convoluted online relationships that ever dared to call itself "love."

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Leigh Pretnar Cousins, MS. You don’t sleep around…and that makes you a loyal partner, right? In fact, there’s a tad more involved. In The Science of Trust, John Gottman states, clearly and simply: A committed romantic relationship is a contract of mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual protection, and mutual nurturance. (p 350)

He cheated. Now you know the truth.  What are you going to do? All those little white lies and bigger and bigger lies he had been telling had you tied up in knots. You wanted so much to believe him, to trust that he was really faithful and just busy. You wanted so much to forgive him for neglecting you, letting you down, disappointing you because you felt he really has good intentions and he really loves you.

You cheated and she discovered the truth. What do you do now? All those little white lies and bigger and bigger lies had you tied up in knots. You got yourself into a situation which felt great at first but started to eat away at you. The other woman seemed so appealing, so exciting, so understanding and so different from your wife. This other woman played up to you, flattered your faltering ego, and provided the hot sex you had been craving but not receiving at home.

I never believed my miserable marriage would actually last forever. I also couldn’t imagine how it would end. That is, until it did.