His and Mine
Why I Won't Rank My Friendships
Why I Won't Rank My Friendships
On Sunday evening, Angie and I attended a “silent rave” in Union Square Park, which is essentially a few hundred people dancing wildly to the music on their iPods. So if you’re walking by and happen to see this, it looks like a few hundred crazies rocking out to no music. And I mean, rocking out – arms flailing, rave-type stuff. It sounded like a lot of fun and another chance to act like a kid again (and Angie loves stupid fun just as much as I do) so we hopped on the idea. It was crazier than I imagined. There was a conga line, beach balls, lit-up pineapples, Japanese break dancers, a girl in a banana costume, lots of NYPD, and Angie and I, jumping up and down, screaming, “I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!” After much effort, we had synched some of the tracks on our iPods so we could vibe to the same song.
Anyone who has been at a bar when it closes at 2am is familiar with the tendency of otherwise "straight" women to suddenly become "flexo-sexual" for the amusement of onlooking men. Obviously in this territory, stereotypes and double standards are plentiful, but when the shot glasses get put back on the shelf, what is the truth about bi-curious feelings?
He's your gay best friend and no straight man can live up to him. But does he keep you from dating other people? Do you secretly wish he were straight? No matter how much platonic love you have for him, romance probably isn't in the cards for the two of you. Ephi Stempler, a gay man who is no stranger to this type of intimacy, explores how this friendship can damage your chance for healthy relationship. He calls it the "Will and Grace dilemma". Stempler writes, "One of the sitcom's primary contributions to popular culture was its ability to candidly portray the feeling of being in love with one's best friend. As the title characters slipped into codependency worthy of an all-consuming romance, they found it increasingly difficult to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men. And because the list of women I've known and loved is—sadly—twice as long as the list of men I've loved and slept with, I, too, have fallen prey to the 'Will and Grace dilemma.'"
No matter what lovestage you're in, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. YourTango explores the intense platonic feelings of admiration, inspiration or just plain excitement another woman can inspire. "Lately, it seems like everyone has one. Hardly a tabloid goes by without announcing Lindsay Lohan's new best friend or Britney Spears's latest source of emotional support. What's more, you don't have to attend boarding school or emulate Cynthia Nixon to play this game. A girl crush is strictly platonic, an admission that a head over-heels tumble can just as easily be set off by a budding friendship as by an office flirtation—no strings (or kissing) attached. Best of all, girl crushes need never stop. Whether you're single or taken, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. Unless you have some seriously possessive women in your life, there's always room for a few more friends."