Five Steps for Navigating Arguments
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Five Steps for Navigating Arguments

Lila here~ One of the dynamics that plays out with long term relationships is that you get into arguments.  And not just any kind of arguments, but the kind that push every last button you have.  The fight may begin innocently enough, but it escalates to the point where you feel totally unsafe around your partner.

More Drama Games
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More Drama Games

  Pinkee here again~ Last week I was talking about some games people play on what I call The Triangle, where all drama occurs.  This week is a continuation of that.  Below is a list of more “games” that may sound familiar and how to avoid them: 1.  I am Your Master.  In this game, you are the Victim and she is the Villain.  If you want to do something, such as go out with the guys, you have to ask her permission, as if you’re a child.  And, if you don’t, or even if you do and she says yes but doesn’t m

The Booty Doctors' Gift Giving Guide
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The Booty Doctors' Gift Giving Guide

Lila here~ Well guys, it’s that time of year again.  The holidays are upon us once more.  Which would be fine; I have nothing against mistletoe, eggnog, cookies or family gatherings.  It’s the gift giving that does me in. I know I’m not the only one.  And believe me, I feel for you guys, because it’s even worse for you.  At least you guys are straightforward about what you want.  I’m sorry to admit this, but I’m not telling you something you don’t already know.

The Good Girl/Bad Girl Split
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The Good Girl/Bad Girl Split

Pinkee here~ I know guys, you want it all.  As that rapper tune says: ‘I want a lady on the streets but a freak on the sheets’.  Really?  Cause according to my sources, you think she doesn’t exist.  Maybe that’s one of the reasons you (all of us really, but I’m talking to the guys here today)  have so many affairs.  You think you can’t have it all in one person.  Well, you can, but you’ll have to change some of your thinking to get there.  It’s kinda like the Virgin Mary/Mary Magdalene split.  Th

Why do Orgasms Feel so Good?
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Why do Orgasms Feel so Good?

Pinkee here~ Basically there are two reasons.  One is the more common reason that most people probably think about when they ask themselves this question.  It’s a physiological response. Blood flows to the genitals, both male and female, when sexual excitement occurs, and the intense feeling of pleasure that orgasm brings is the sensation that results when all the extra blood that’s been building up gets released at once.

A Rant on Sex and Violence  
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A Rant on Sex and Violence  

Lila here: Can someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with our society?  We allow children to watch violent movies and play even more violent video games, but we don’t give them healthy role models for sexual activity.   

The Myth of the Secret Code
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The Myth of the Secret Code

OK, so the title of this blog is misleading. There is no secret code to unlocking a woman’s libido. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it’s the truth. The one constant about women is that what turns us on is never the same. Never might be stretching the truth a wee bit, but rarely will the same thing turn us on every time. It’s one of the things that is probably the most maddening about us as a species.

For the Ladies: How to Give a Good Hand Job
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For the Ladies: How to Give a Good Hand Job

Below is some advice (in bold) taken from the book The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., followed by me adding my own thoughts in. (By the way, guys, if you really want your partner to know this stuff, you could show her this blog OR, sneakily, buy her the book and hope that she reads Chapter 8. But I recommend the direct approach.)

Making it Work with your Ex
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Making it Work with your Ex

Pinkee here~ Okay, guys, let me clarify here.  I don’t mean getting back together with your ex.  It could be your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. What I mean is, how do you have a workable relationship with someone that you share children with?  How do you co-parent as two adults who have moved on?

Who Should Pick up the Tab on the First Date?
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Who Should Pick up the Tab on the First Date?

Okay, guys, I realize you may be getting a bit confused by now, with the “old” feminism and the “new” feminism. In the old school way of thinking, the man always paid the tab, whether it was the first date or the tenth date, right? Then came feminism. In that way of thinking, it might have offended a woman if you did things like open the door for her, let alone pay the tab.

Can Swinging Save Your Marriage?
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Can Swinging Save Your Marriage?

Lila here~ I just read a brief synopsis of some research done by sociologist Curtis Bergstrand. He’s recently written a book called Swinging in America: Love, Sex and Marriage in the 21st Century. In the book, he explores whether the institution of marriage is broken. In a word: yes.In Bergstrand’s exploration of what’s wrong with marriage (and by that, he means traditional monogamous, til-death-do-we part marriage) led him to wonder what, if anything, could save this age-old institution. And that’s where swinging enters the picture.

How to Survive a Breakup: The Shetox
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How to Survive a Breakup: The Shetox

Last week I blogged about those “easy” break ups, the ones you could literally do over the phone. That got me thinking about the other kind of breakups, the ones that aren’t so easy. These are the ones that really hurt. Maybe you have been together for a long time, and just know it isn’t right for you any longer. Or, maybe it’s the kind of breakup that was not your idea; it was hers. Some say this kind are the worst. I think they both suck, but at times both are necessary. Having been through quite of few of them over the years and coached many a client through them, I have learned a few things on the subject. Below is a survival guide to getting through breakups as quickly and painlessly as possible.