I agree that it's good to honor and appreciate yourself by filling up one's life with self-honoring activities. The fact is, most of us want love, whether male or female, straight or not or both, at the end of the day. I've seen myself and others get so into "loving themselves" that it eventually turned into counter-dependence.
We've all been brought up to be very good little girls, and we've become very well-behaved women. We learned well that we were to put others needs before our own, and not be selfish. And we've done just that, haven't we. We're oh so good at meeting everyone's needs except our own. We know all too well how to take care of other people, especially the men in our lives that we've made so many excuses for over the years.
So after years of being happily single, you find yourself falling in love again. You didn’t plan it… It just happened. What started out as casual date has turned into something much deeper and you are thinking about settling down. One of my friends asked the question: When you have been single for years, how do you transition from the “selfish me” mindset into a “we” oriented relationship?
Healthy, happy relationships are based on caring, cooperation, and commitment. Your partner and relationship must be a top priority for you. Selfishness, or being overly concerned with just your needs, wants, and feelings prevents you from holding up your end of a mutually satisfying relationship.