First aid for turning a ho-hum relationship back to the intimacy you need!
Is your relationship in a rut? Maybe you know that something’s missing in your relationship but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Being in a relationship rut means that you are neither particularly unhappy with your partner but you also not particularly happy. It’s like being in a comfortable place of indifference and acceptance that you can’t seem to get out of…why? Simply because it’s what you’ve both become accustomed to and you don’t know how to change it. But, here’s some great news...it doesn’t have to be this way! We all sometimes need a wake-up call to rouse us out of mediocrity and into the life and relationship of our dreams. There is a way to do this in your relationship and I’m going to give you some tips on how to get there.
We couldn't help but chuckle after reading about e-Pressed, a shirt that uses biosensors to interpret and communicate the wearer's stress levels via embedded LEDs. People who see the shirt light up can then press acupuncture points drawn on the shirt, which in turn relax the wearer and turn off the light. At this point, the shirt is still in the preliminary concept stages, but imagine the implications for relationships if e-Pressed went commercial. We're not sure that it'd make the best anniversary present: "Here's an LED-lit shirt, honey, because I can't read your emotions otherwise." (Cue the blinking red light). There are right and wrong ways to get angry. Here are 6 ineffective methods.
How can couples ensure that what they say is interpreted in the way that they mean it? The first step is to identify the common communication mistakes so that we can then try to fix them.
You began the conversation with altruistic intentions. The intensity and staccato of your voices signal that you and your partner are approaching a full-blown argument. You don’t want to fling insults and accusations. You just need a time out. What do you do?
Should you get revenge on an ex? If you've ever had a cold-hearted lout stomp all over your heart, you may be saying yes. Revenge makes you feel better, and if it's not illegal or violent, why not give yourself the satisfaction of seeing your ex suffer? On the other hand, maybe getting revenge will actually make you feel worse. It's not going to win you any points in the integrity game, and that momentary gratification might give way to regret. Here, Ted McPherson (anti-revenge) and Judy McGuire (pro-revenge) debate: is getting revenge a good idea? Read what they have to say, and let us know what you think in the comments.
A recent Israeli study concluded that domestic violence between couples typically occurs as a calculated decision from the inflicting partner. The aggressor typically knows what sort of consequences he or she will face and weighs it before acting out. "Someone who uses verbal violence might well move on over time to threatening physical attack, and from there it is only downhill towards acting on the threat," one of the researchers says. In other frank words, get out of the cycle now!
Going to couples therapy wasn’t something my boyfriend or I had to wrangle the other into. Our rough patch was more like a slick of black ice, and we were careening towards a precipitous ending. We had moved in together almost a year before, and couples therapy seemed easier than breaking up. It would at least buy us time to figure out how to split our belongings while I looked for my own place. I was scared, and didn’t know what to expect. Would she pit us against each other? Would she take my side or his? What if she liked him better than me?
He said "gimme some sugar, baby"...but he wanted a Mars Bar. Marco Fella, 38, of England, bit his girlfriend because he felt angry she wore big Bridget Jones panties instead of thong underwear. And he blamed his sugar addiction! Fella told the judge he noshes 10 Mars Bars a day and the sugar addiction's got him high-strung. Therefore he attacked his 34-year-old live-in girlfriend two times in 10 days: first by throwing a doggie chew toy at her and then by biting her.