Do you ever feel bad for having a bit of a foul mouth? Well, new scientific research assures us you can ditch any sense of guilt—as long as your cursing is in the name of better health. A recent study shows screaming out profanities can relieve stress and give you a higher pain-tolerance. It's basically recommended and encouraged. Seriously!
Been wondering why the man who cheated on you is also furious at you? Where does he get off blaming you when he was the one who cheated? When my ex told me he was leaving I kept asking him why he was so angry with me, what did I do that was so terrible? He insisted that it wasn’t about me. “Why do you always think everything is about you?” he’d snap at me. I guess he meant it was about her since he had fallen in love with someone else. Then why was he so angry at me? Why did he blame me for the demise of the relationship, why did he seem to feel entitled to leave me for someone else, why the constant rage?
Dear Readers, Due to an overwhelming response with emails after my article/blog “Sleeping with the Enemy,” I decided to write in a different format. I received 183 letters from people all over the U.S. (the article was posted in Chicago as well as the East Coast), and I found myself feeling limited and unhelpful with my template, explaining I was not authorized to give out individual advice. I decided to take a letter from one of my readers, change the names, and post it here for all of you.
Sleeping with the Enemy was a movie that came out in 1991, and was based on a couple’s violent, obsessed, and dangerous relationship. The couple appeared like the perfect couple in public, but behind closed doors the wife (played by Julia Roberts) was in fear of her life. When your relationship struggles with resentment, it can feel like you are sleeping with the enemy. The resentment is felt deeply by one of the partners and, although it is rarely discussed openly, the tension can be felt by anyone close to the couple. Resentment is not caused by one thing, but many things that happen.
Many of the women I work with tell me that they have trouble expressing their anger with their partner. Either they blow up and lose control, or they hold back and never say what they really feel. In both instances, a woman is not being authentic when she does not express her true feelings. And men feel safer loving women who feel authentic. It may not be something he can even put words to, but he just knows when she is being who she really is.
Find us a long-term relationship that's never experienced conflict, and we'll check the sky for flying pigs. The feelings of anger and disappointment we feel when a loved one seemingly wrongs us can be consuming, even uncontrollable. But anyone who's lost his/her temper can tell you: getting angry and getting revenge never pay off; they never make us feel better, in the long run.
Romantic love has been called the only acceptable form of insanity. How can you stay sane while dating? The first and most important step is to choose wisely who you allow to be in your life. When deciding whether you want to date someone, keep these three simple words in mind: STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.
In all fairness, none of us were taught how to handle conflict productively. Conflict in a relationship can be scary because anger and criticism are typically at the root of conflict and most of us have not had formal training in how to resolve it. Our parents did not teach us to handle conflict appropriately. Instead, we were taught what not to do if we felt angry, e.g. don’t say bad words, don’t hit her, just ignore him, turn the other cheek, etc.
Bully behavior begins in childhood. Kids watch their parents and siblings and learn those behaviors. If they learn bullying behaviors they will mimic them. Some of them learn the error of their ways and change. They may ask forgiveness or become compassionate to those they hurt or offended. Some of them don’t learn, and they keep growing into adult bullies. These adult bullies have relationships and marry unsuspecting people. They can wear a mask and act normal, but when they are stressed or dissatisfied they show their bully mindset.
Divorced mom Delaine Moore openly discusses resentment towards the ex and how she struggles with it. At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage. The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal - they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain. Girlfriend Advice: Stop Comparing Yourself To HER
Coping strategies for defusing anger in gay relationships are offered.
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