![Want To Know What Makes a Happy Relationship? [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/images/healthyeating.jpg "Want To Know What Makes a Happy Relationship? [EXPERT]")
The key to creating and maintaining a happy relationship can be summed up in one word: Balance. There needs to be balance in all things and one couple’s picture of balance will look different from another’s based on the strength of each individual’s needs. Each couple’s fulcrum will be placed at a different point on the balance beam. Knowing the Difference: Healthy Or Dysfunctional [EXPERT]
Dear Dr. Romance: What is more important in a relationship: being balanced or compatible? Dear Reader: Compatibility trumps balance, but balance may be an important component of compatibility. Compatibility means having similar core values, living together well and comfortably, and being able to talk through problems and reach a mutually satisfactory solution. Balance is similar to mutuality.
Readers, it is with great sadness that we ask you to bow your heads in mourning for the sex lives of women everywhere.
A couple of years ago, I began a very busy and fulfilling job. I was excited about the opportunities it presented to me. The more I immersed myself in the work, the more I was inspired by ideas about how the position could grow and evolve over time. I used my creativity and determination to try to bring about all that I believed was possible. When I started, I was naive about the inner-workings of the organization and the power imbalances that existed. It quickly became clear to me that trying to create any kind of meaningful change in the organization was going to be incredibly difficult. As I embraced the challenge, I worked hard, did my best and felt like I was living true to my values of honesty, hard work, connection and responsibility.
As the days become shorter, school back in session and Halloween around the corner, the settling in begins to take place in our bones. We begin to slow down our lives and beg for a bit more structure and calm. There's simply something so special about the scent of fall candles, the beautiful colors, and (Oh, let’s don’t forget!) the stunning fall wardrobe. With all these delicious treats waiting around the corner, I’m keenly aware that fall has us begging for structure.
Time is the most valuable commodity and we all get the same 24 hours in a day. It's amazing how differently we all prioritize those precious hours, though. Being the giving, nurturing creatures that we are, its easy to forget about ourselves.
When two people love each other, nothing is better than raising a family together. That said, parents often put their parenting and career responsibilities at the top of their priority list, and allow their marriage to fall to the bottom. Most parents are on an endless treadmill of chores, meals and responsibilities, and forget to invest in nurturing each other.
Today's modern woman has taken on a lot more responsibility than ever before and is now learning to balance a career, motherhood, household upkeep and a loving relationship. How is it possible to evenly give attention to each one of these daily occurrences?
How does the stress of being a busy mom affect us? We overeat, do not exercise, and of course our sex life goes kaput, as does our intimacy with our partner, our confidence and our self-esteem. More and more, we see mothers suffering from the deadly disease of perfectionism. You assume that to "do it right," you must execute all tasks flawlessly and ignore the need for self-care. In turn, we see higher rates of exhaustion-related illnesses, low self-esteem and partner-related issues, due to mother's burn out. It's time to drop the "supermom" ideal.
The first time I learned of the idea of self soothing, I was reading a parenting book and trying to let my first child settle herself to sleep. I was more upset than she was that evening, gripping the door knob, willing myself to not open it and go in to soothe her. Awash in my own inability to self soothe, I cried as she whimpered herself to sleep. That night provided only a glimmer of the power that comes from being able to hold onto and soothe yourself in your own pain and suffering.
The stress-reducing hormone responsible for lowering your stress level is different depending on your gender. For men--the stress-reducing hormone is: TESTOSTERONE. For women--the stress-reducing hormone is: OXYTOCIN. The way we reduce our stress actually increases stress in the opposite sex. So before you shut each-other out of the bedroom. The solution is to two-fold: (1) Understand that your physiology is why you do some annoying things to the opposite sex. Research shows:
