Matchmaker Hellen Chen may have found the secret to marriage: Imagine if the good stuff wasn't the appetizer, but the main meal. Think of how differently your romantic life would be if you could enjoy all the sexy fun of dating without wondering "where this is going" — because you're already there.
I've known four couples who are happily married and were arranged. Two of the pairs were born and raised in England in the 1980's while the other two grew up in the U.S. around the same time. On the surface they look like any typical modern adult raised in the West. What is even more surprising is how all four couples described feeling Cupid's arrow the instant they met.
Critics are calling Tena Desae the next Freida Pinto – partly because she's an Indian actress with a career in Bollywood, and partly because she also stars opposite "Slumdog Millionaire's" Dev Patel in her first Western film, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel," in theaters today.
I do know the one fundamental thing that keeps a relationship together. And I'm sure that almost everyone reading this knows it already, too. Maybe, you just haven't thought about your knowing it. It's the one thing that determines how long a relationship lasts, whether it's a marriage, a friendship, or any other kind of relationship.
At 31, I was already a world traveler and a world-class dater. I had lived at various times in two other countries, and as the proverbial "nice Jewish girl," had dated every type of unavailable man from Orthodox to Sikh to WASP. Everything ended badly and I was starting to consider myself an expert in cross-cultural heartbreak. The way some women carry pepper spray in their purse for protection, I carried a checklist of red-flag warning signs and dating requirements. By the time my sister Skyped me to see if I could join her for a yoga workshop in the hot beach town of Goa, I had decided to take a break from love.
Lots of people out there find their mothers quite meddlesome when it comes to dating. If stand-up comedy is to be believed, many of these people belong to a particular ethno-socio-religious group. Maybe a group that refers to smoked salmon as Lox. Sure, other cultures do this but outside of Russell Peters they don't have much in the way of a stand-up comedy voice. At any rate, it looks like a mom has decided to drag her son, grinning and bearing, into the world of Web 2.0 dating. PLUS Genetic Sexual Attraction in the Aimee Sword case.
How much does your religion guide your attitudes towards the opposite sex and your decisions on your choice of a partner? As a South Asian Muslim, my faith has shaped my attitudes towards men, dating and marriage from a young age. Since I was ten years old living in Westchester County, NY my mom has been drilling this mantra into my head, “You are a Muslim and you will not date.”
One of the most universal questions out there is, "Can you love two people at the same time?" In Vietnam, the answer is a resounding "maybe." The village of Khau Vai has a love market designed to let people in arranged marriages meet up with their past lovers once a year.
The Unification Church was founded by a Reverend Sun Myung Moon. As the church gained steam, he began matchmaking and setting up mass weddings. The matches found nice spouses for decent people and provided a means to create generations of multi-ethnic offspring. But the Rev. Moon is 90 and some changes are going to have to change. Or the world may end and we're making a big fuss about nothing.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is in Africa this week, fielding marriage proposals for her daughter, Chelsea. According to the Associated Press, a Kenyan man wrote to Bill Clinton in 2000 and offered him 40 goats and 20 cows for his only daughter's hand in marriage.
Liz Tuccillo, writer for Sex and the City and co-author of He's Just Not That Into You, asks why is the divorce rate so low in India? She finds out that Indians are taught that happiness is a state of mind. And if you've had an arranged marriage you wed first, and learn to love your husband over time, as you get to know him.
A man in Egypt, in a classic Romeo And Juliet scenario, decided that he would rather undergo castration (self-castration) then go into an arranged marriage instead of marrying his sweetheart. While his resolution is almost (almost) commendable, this course of action cannot be recommended. Eunuchs have less fun, it's often been said.
The New York Times' Modern Love had a rather charming essay yesterday ("An Arranged Marriage, Then And Now") where the narrator discusses his situation in the same cool, detached Western way in which we discuss all of our bodily exchanges. He (Farahad Zama) is a "well-brought-up boy" of Indian descent who went the traditional route and agreed to marry his neighbor's daughter after only spending 45 minutes with her.I Hope My Daughter Marries... When she was presented to him, he describes her as "cute" (cute enough, we presume) and "nodded in approval." It all sounds horribly romantic. Almost in the same vain as us Westerners nod in approval to whomever we're seated next at our neighborhood bar once it reaches witching hour. So they married, have two sons, and the arrangement has (dare we say) worked splendidly. Do they disagree? Sure. Do they have their differences? Absolutely. But if given a second shot at it, would the narrator have done anything differently? No.