In the beginning, when you are in love, it's easy to be insular and believe that you and your partner have everything figured out, that nothing can ever shake you, that you will never fight and nothing so stupid as socks on the floor could ever make you raise your voice at that adorable face. I don't mean to be condescending about this. It's a great time. Every couple has it and it is my sincere wish that it last as long as possible. But it doesn't. At some point, in every marriage, you find yourself sobbing into your pillow over toothpaste caps and if you don't you are a Stepford Wife.
Men. Who can understand them? Not me. The thing about men I understand the least is how they fight. I literally feel like I'm speaking another language when I'm arguing with my dude. Are we talking about the same thing? Did we have the same conversation? Wait, are we even on the same planet? That's when I feel like that men are from Mars, women are from Venus BS might have some truth to it.
Money management is one of the most challenging aspects of being married. Should you open a joint bank account? How do you save for retirement? While there isn't a definitive right or wrong answer to these questions, the fact that some married couples are happier with their finances than others begs the question of why. To understand how incomes affect marriages, Mint.com conducted a survey comparing how young professionals (under 30, college educated, household income of over $50k), affluents (household income of over $100k), and the general populace divide their money. There are a lot of numbers involved, so we've summarized the most interesting data for you:
In the latest video episode of Ask YourTango—where readers seek out advice on love and relationships—Evan Marc Katz gives advice on how to fight fair in a relationship.
Clamming up during an argument may be a guy thing after all, a new study suggests. "We have known through other psychological studies that men, on the average, are less empathic and less emotionally tuned in to others than women," said Dr. Daniel Carlat. "This study appears to reinforce this well-known finding."
How you fight can predict if you're more likely to divorce. The University of Michigan studied married couples for 16 years and found those who have mismatched fighting styles are more likely to break up. What's your fighting style? Does it match your partners?
A woman in Santa Rosa (yes, of course it's Florida) went bananacakes when her husband was interested in watching a Jennifer Lopez film. Because he insisted on watching a J. Lo film, she felt obligated to (allegedly) set fire to his go-kart, boat and some of his personal effects. And it wasn't a matter of his not having decent taste that caused the Floridian to go Stephen King's Firestarter on his ass. Nope! This firebug from the Sunshine State was just jealous at the possibility that her husband might prefer J. Lo's bootiliciousness. And then the hurt feelings really started.
There are topics people won't touch at cocktail parties because it's not "polite conversation." These are subjects people secretly want to discuss, but, when broached over hummus and Merlot, make them uncomfortable. These are precisely the things I love talking about. So here goes: My husband and I just graduated from couple's therapy.
It's only natural that couples use innovation to get closer, get on each other's nerves less and, most importantly, get even. Here are the top five products for saving your relationship because things just aren't working on their own. Enjoy the information, the commercial and the infomercials
Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere, (it's OK if you have been—we don't judge) you know that President Obama has really been shaking things up on Capitol Hill. Standing at the helm of the Democratic majority, he managed to push the first health care reform bill in 50 years (Medicare) through Congress. We have to admit, political parties aside, that this is an enormous achievement. But after the smoke has cleared, along with the shock and excitement, and the dismay of most Republicans, many are wondering how all this will affect their lives. And here at YourTango, of course we're worried about how this will impact our relationships. Government progress? Be still our hearts! But after the smoke has cleared, along with the shock and excitement, many are wondering how all this will affect their lives. And here at YourTango, of course we're worried about how this will impact our relationships. So with a salute to Uncle Sam, we put on our hard hats and dove into the 2,074 page bill to pull out the facts that matter most to you and your lover.
The New York Times had an interesting piece about kids today and how they use Facebook as a tool to air their relationship dirty laundry. The Times seems to think this might be harmful to relationships and may signify a degradation of the sanctity of marriage. Should relationship problems be shared on Facebook?
Esther Perel helps a woman take responsibility for the fights she initiates with her husband.
Ever found yourself circumventing a conversation you know you need to have with your partner? Or maybe you've rehearsed precisely what you want to say only to have it fall on deaf ears, or worse, defensive ears! Every relationship encounters its share of tough issues. An unexpected change in circumstances, or feelings of dissatisfaction, or a desire for change, for example, may trigger an issue. How you view them depends on a number of factors including your stage of life and your ability to effectively manage the issues that arise in your relationship.