Having been thoroughly indoctrinated by those girl-power dating books—The Rules, He's Just Not That Into You, and, most recently, The List—I am fairly cutthroat about dating lulls. You know: you go out with someone a couple of times and then … nothing. Sometimes it's eternal—you never hear from him again. Sometimes it's the more intense pain of a short-term silence, which finds you incessantly checking your voicemail, your email, your text messages. Girl-power daters have been taught to give such situations not so much as a backward glance. Move on with your head high, and someone better will come along. … Read More

Does anyone truly like to date? I mean, really get excited about sifting through potential candidates, sussing out neuroses, reading between the lines?

I’m not talking about the thrill and anticipation you might feel the day you’re going out with someone new. I’m talking about the nitty-gritty research involved in finding someone who intrigues you.

I suppose there are some people who enjoy the hunt. And others who are so confident (or delusional) that they don’t feel as if they’re opening themselves up to humiliation, pain, and suffering—along with sexual tension and the possibility of intense joy. But, by and … Read More

Does anyone truly like to date? I mean, really get excited about sifting through potential candidates, sussing out neuroses, reading between the lines? I’m not talking about the thrill and anticipation you might feel the day you’re going out with someone new. I’m talking about the nitty-gritty research involved in finding someone who intrigues you. I suppose there are some people who enjoy the hunt. And others who are so confident (or delusional) that they don’t feel as if they’re opening themselves up to humiliation, pain, and suffering—along with sexual tension and the possibility of intense joy. But, by and … Read More

An interview with Lauren Winner, whose husband made her wait until they were married to have sex. Your husband was a virgin when you married. What was the story there?Griff and I had very different backgrounds. He was always committed to not having sex before he married. He grew up in a Christian home in a small town in the South. It was never a question for him. And certainly if you're committed to not having sex, it's easier to do that with someone who is also committed to it. You just don't have to argue with them. If, in … Read More

I had a feeling it would work. And it didn't take long. I had only been living in New York for about a month when my investment paid off. It was a rainy July day. I had been working at home all morning. As lunchtime approached, my stomach started grumbling and my puppy needed a walk. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and set off with the dog to a nearby deli. Both of us arrived drenched. A tall, older guy asked, "What kind of dog is that?"

"He's an Italian greyhound," I said. "His name is Puccini."

"Oh. … Read More

For a book that promises to "change the face of man-hunting forever," The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He's Going to Marry You—in 30 Days or Less! (Adams Media/$12.95) is deceptively simple. I'm not ruining anything by disclosing the seven ways here (they're on the back cover of the book itself):

• He'll make the first move.
• He'll call her within 24 to 48 hours to set up a first date. Get Guys Begging For A Second Date: Here's How
• He'll make the first date easy and … Read More