If you are in a relationship with a compulsive spender, overeater, alcoholic, gambler, or other type of addict and you are furious with his or her addiction, here are six tips to help you understand and support your loved one. 1. Be Compassionate: You can't imagine how a compulsive person feels. You simply cannot feel his or her cravings or urges. Do you have some bad habit or problem that you have been trying to get rid of unsuccessfully? Are you a chronic procrastinator, someone who keeps putting things off or showing up late and hate yourself for it?
I received the following in an email: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
Unfortunately, it's easy to let anger contaminate our relationships. When we give in to anger, we lose control in the moment and then feel guilty for the damage it does to our loved ones. So how can we take better control of our emotions?
Although every divorce is unique, most result in an abundance of post-divorce anger. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and it's quite normal. It's unresolved anger that is corrosive and toxic. Like being in a burning house, it sucks the life out of you. Acknowledging persistent anger, and committing to do something about it, is step one. Step two is managing your anger. Here are some things to try:
Millions of people from all across the nation voted for the candidate that they believed would be the best choice as the next President of the United States earlier this week. If you voted, and your candidate for President wasn't elected, then you are probably experiencing a number of emotions: You might be feeling sad, disappointed, confused, hopeless, numb … but for some people, the feeling that may likely stand out head and shoulders above the rest, is the feeling of anger.
Does anger belong in your relationship, or better yet, in your life? Is it Okay to express anger or is it a deadly sin? Depending on culture, religious beliefs and personality, you will find different answers, but make no mistake, anger is a controversial topic.
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
How many times have you felt frustrated with your child’s behavior and simply exploded in anger, saying things that you regretted later? How many times have you asked yourself if you were in the right track raising your child? I always ask my client’s parents what they want for their children as they journey into adulthood. It is very clear to me that they all want the same thing: a reliable, responsible and happy adult. Someone who is accomplished, emotionally balanced, socially and emotionally intelligent.
Letting go of anger isn't easy; it latches on and won't let go. However, there are far more reasons to permanently release this negative emotion than to cling to it. Here are six ways to leave your anger behind so you can be more at peace after divorce.
A recent Harvard Medical School study found that nearly 8% of adolescents experienced bouts of extreme anger, sufficient to be diagnosed as "intermittent explosive disorder" — a form of mental illness. I'm surprised the number isn't higher.
Anger is such a difficult emotion for so many of us to express. Women, especially, are taught that anger is ugly and we are bitchy if we complain or vent about feeling upset. Afraid of our anger and what it might appear like, we tend to hold it in and repress it. Simmering inside of us, it either turns into depression and we take it out on ourselves through addiction or eating poorly, etc, or it erupts like a volcano and comes out sideways and squirrely, not how we intended.
What is the solution for dealing with a loved one — a lover, a spouse or even a child — whose anger gets you down? Most folks in this situation have tried everything from reasoning with the angry person to agreeing with him just to settle him down. Usually, nothing works ... except leaving.