Everyone gets angry from time to time, but to keep your relationships healthy you need to figure out what your anger is telling you, and then communicate it the best way you can. Our personal development coach helps you figure out the steps.
I received the following in an email: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
Unfortunately, it's easy to let anger contaminate our relationships. When we give in to anger, we lose control in the moment and then feel guilty for the damage it does to our loved ones. So how can we take better control of our emotions?
Although every divorce is unique, most result in an abundance of post-divorce anger. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and it's quite normal. It's unresolved anger that is corrosive and toxic. Like being in a burning house, it sucks the life out of you. Acknowledging persistent anger, and committing to do something about it, is step one. Step two is managing your anger. Here are some things to try:
Millions of people from all across the nation voted for the candidate that they believed would be the best choice as the next President of the United States earlier this week. If you voted, and your candidate for President wasn't elected, then you are probably experiencing a number of emotions: You might be feeling sad, disappointed, confused, hopeless, numb … but for some people, the feeling that may likely stand out head and shoulders above the rest, is the feeling of anger.
Does anger belong in your relationship, or better yet, in your life? Is it Okay to express anger or is it a deadly sin? Depending on culture, religious beliefs and personality, you will find different answers, but make no mistake, anger is a controversial topic.
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
How many times have you felt frustrated with your child’s behavior and simply exploded in anger, saying things that you regretted later? How many times have you asked yourself if you were in the right track raising your child? I always ask my client’s parents what they want for their children as they journey into adulthood. It is very clear to me that they all want the same thing: a reliable, responsible and happy adult. Someone who is accomplished, emotionally balanced, socially and emotionally intelligent.
Letting go of anger isn't easy; it latches on and won't let go. However, there are far more reasons to permanently release this negative emotion than to cling to it. Here are six ways to leave your anger behind so you can be more at peace after divorce.