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What Every Argument You've Ever Had Is REALLY About
Get to the root of the problem.
Experts Blog

What Every Argument You've Ever Had Is REALLY About

Most days these days, I can name a few reasons to be angry at my guy, The Spaniard. Truly. We’ve been through seemingly endless challenges — some self-created and others lobbed at us by an invisible, arbitrary all-star pitcher — and there are many times I’ve asked myself why, oh why, did he not handle x differently? (Read: The way I would have wanted him to.)

Breakups: The Anger That Follows A Bad Breakup
Don't let your ex's Facebook page fly you off the handle.
Experts Blog

Got Breakup Rage? Avoid This One Common Venting Mistake

A breakup is emotionally taxing on everyone, especially the friends who you are calling non-stop to vent about your ex. Research shows that ranting about your anger is not the best way to get rid of it. Life Coach Amelie Chance shows us the common myths about releasing that aggression.

Are You Being Angry Or In A Rage?
Experts Blog

Are You Being Angry Or In A Rage?

Chuck Lorre produced a TV show called Dharma and Greg. I video taped (remember VCR’s?) the first episode. At the end of the show, I saw a blip on the screen and wondered what kind of subliminal message was just zapped into my brain. Freeze framing the blip, I saw Chuck’s first “Vanity Card.” The opening line hooked me forever: “Thank you for videotaping “Dharma & Greg” and freeze-framing on my vanity card.” You can read all his cards at www.chucklorre.com. Here is one of those cards.

Are Relationships Ruled by the Heart or the Mind?
Experts Blog

Are Relationships Ruled by the Heart or the Mind?

This essay brings to your attention the two very frequent scenarios of behaviors in relationships. A lot of people go through similar experiences and wish to change the situation. I suggest a different view at the problem, in fact, I shouldn’t call it a problem, rather an adaptive mechanism of your mind. This perspective shows you why your mind believes that it needs to apply the dysfunctional behaviors. The reason is the instinct of codependency which, if failed to terminate at puberty, prevents you from being self-sufficient.

Your Abusive Partner Insists On Having Sex After You Said "No"
Experts Blog

Your Abusive Partner Insists On Having Sex After You Said "No"

Forced sex, whether by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Some abusers expect or demand sex after they viciously beat or abuse their victims. Research indicates that 1 out of 7 married women are sexually assaulted by their husbands. Marital rape has been illegal in the United States since 1993.

The Upside Of Anger
Experts Blog

The Upside Of Anger

Bringing your pre-relationship Anger ‘luggage' into your marriage can sometimes be a positive thing, believe it or not. Have you noticed, everyone is becoming edgier, crankier? Lately, I have been noticing at an alarming rate of increase, people around me, on the streets, driving, standing on line getting coffee, are short fused. Say ‘good-bye' to common courtesy, being polite, or, being appropriate in public.

Experts Blog

How to Control Anger When It Controls You

Our world is filled with anger and aggression. Newspaper headlines scream about fighting all over the globe, violence in our neighborhoods and abuse in our families. Turn on the TV or go to the movies and you will be flooded with images depicting horrendous crimes, bloodshed, and brutality. We are so comfortable living in a hostile society that we spend millions of dollars purchasing violent video games for our children without realizing that we are contributing to this problem.  

Dear Dr. Romance: I am on MAJOR pain pills.
Experts Blog

Dear Dr. Romance: I am on MAJOR pain pills.

Dear Dr. Romance: I am a 49 year old disabed vet, chest injury in pain 24/7. I am on MAJOR pain pills.  Have not had sex with wife since one day I pulled her pants down and found a river of a substance that looked like human ejaculate but smelt like beer. Six months later she said it was a female discharge, I have checked with three nurses all have said it had to be ejaculate.

The Power of Anger in Your Relationship
Experts Blog

The Power of Anger in Your Relationship

  Is anger dangerous?  Is it a “bad” emotion?  Anger is at the center of many problems in relationships.  Anger itself is really not the source of the problem.  Anger is a normal, healthy, necessary emotion that protects us from being hurt by others.  It’s how we express it- or, just as importantly, fail to express it- that causes  problems with the people in our lives.  Problems in relationships at home, at work, with our children  our loved ones, friends or even strangers can arise from an ineffective expression