French women seem capable of dancing with a paramour even if it is not the man they love. How is that possible? Je ne sais pas. Perhaps I am too much of a romantic. It seems too impossible. How can you become entangled with a paramour when there is one person out there, who, in the words to a Tina Turner song is simply the best?
Preventing infidelity may be as simple as — and this seems obvious — telling the truth. Peggy Vaughn, author of the Myth of Monogamy, says that in order for couples to avoid an affair, they first have to accept that it is natural and normal to be attracted to other people. And if you find yourself fantasizing about someone other than your spouse, you should tell. Telling your partner would mean being honest about your feelings — not using the specific details to hurt your spouse — but to be open and honest about your concerns before they turn into something more.
Question: Okay, I’ve been married for only eight months and my marriage is basically borderline divorce. My husband tells me that I am way too jealous and can’t control myself. I am always accusing him of doing stuff and he swears he is not. Now I found out last night that he is indeed meeting up with this girl after work (he gets out at 7am), and tells her that he will tell me he is staying late.
I sometimes hear from wives who deeply regret cheating on their husbands. Often, the guilt is weighing heavily on them. Sometimes, they wonder if they wouldn’t feel better if they would just come clean and tell him. But somewhere deep inside, they suspect that once they tell him and let the cat out of the bag, their marriage might never be the same.
With over 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, it's important to take a look at the marriage mistakes that can lead to divorce. While researching this subject for my book, "Secrets of Happy Couples," I asked happy couples what their "non-negotiables" in marriage are. One hundred couples responded about the dealbreakers in their marriages. Here is what I learned.
When a marriage or any romantic relationship sours, an affair is a painful yet convenient way to escape. It's easy to blame the affair, blame the person the affair was with or basically blame everything except the real problem: that someone's needs were not being met, so that person found a way to have them met elsewhere.
An interesting thing happens when you speak to hundreds of people who have ended relationships because their partner cheated; you actually learn how to have an affair. I have actually been asked by those in relationships to share with them how to have an affair so they don’t get caught! For the record, I do not condone planning an affair or extra-marital relationships.
If your world has been rocked by an emotional affair or by infidelity, it can be devastating and heartbreaking. It can also be a natural response to want to get even and do to the other what has been done to you. Rather than following the ways of the Romans - which didn't quite work out for them, by the way - it's healthier to refrain from getting even and work on getting better. Whether you caused it or were the unfortunate casualty of a painful affair, it's important to work on yourself and deciding if there is a relationship worth saving.
Question: I have a question about men being interested in watching transsexuals on a porn site and then having sexual dreams about penises. My boyfriend who is straight had a relationship with a transsexual about six years ago and still keeps in contact by phone. This issue has come up as it's interrupting our sex life since he'd rather watch she-male porn on the internet and jerk-off than have sex with me.
Why do men cheat? Are they hard-wired to be unfaithful or do women drive them to it by pressuring them too quickly into committed relationships?
When the news arrived last Friday that the beloved General David Petraeus had cheated on his wife of 37 years with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, I almost ignored it as a non-event. In a different world, I would perhaps be shocked myself. But having lived it, I think the answer to why this happens is much simpler than we wish to believe.
"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." — Friedrich Nietzsche Laurie and Frank were high school sweethearts. They married young because Laurie became pregnant and, being Catholic, any other choice was out of the question, so he decided to do the right thing. It wasn't that he didn't love her—he did, but as with all things high school and unfinished, over time, Frank longed for his lost youth.
When high-profile extramarital affairs hit the news, it's all most of us can do to keep from clicking on every juicy headline we come across. Who was the mistress? Who was the other man? We're ravenous for any bit of gossip (or even video) available about the cheaters...but what about those who were cheated on?