xoJane's "Health Editor," a term we're going to use very loosely, wrote a piece about why she prefers the Plan B method of birth control to all others. Why? Well, in her words, the Pill will make her "fat," make her "spot," and according to her, will not prevent her from getting preggers because she's in that teeny-tiny minority who got knocked up on it.
Facing grief is a difficult process. There are some events in life where there is just nowhere to go with our pain. One of those situations is when a person chooses to terminate a pregnancy. I refer to this as “voluntary pregnancy termination” or “vpt” rather than the common term abortion.
Some women are surprised after an abortion that they have waves of crying spells, depression and sadness. This can last several weeks, months or even years. It is normal to grieve after an abortion, but the strange combination of relief and sadness can be very confusing.
Women who have abortions do not feel like they should be allowed to grieve the loss of a child there is no evidence of. And after all, you shouldn’t be permitted to grieve over a loss that you have chosen to create. Putting the missing pieces together can be confusing and overwhelming. Grieving is a necessary process of letting go and receiving closure. Our culture does women a great disfavor when we do not allow them to grieve their abortion losses. The answer seems to be not to talk about “it.”
"It's over, it's done, now let's get on with our lives. We won't ever talk about this again!" Well, this was my boyfriends' response to my abortion. Guess what we never did talk about it again. I would catch myself crying at odd times. He would roll his eyes and be so frustrated. "C'mon you're not thinking about that again are you?"
"I don't understand why we are feeling so disconnected after an abortion. I thought this would be the best plan for our future, but now I am wondering..." Couples are often surprised that their abortion did not bring them the closure they were expecting. This is because there is a lot of emotion involved during the decision-making process. The initial reaction is usually for sure relief. What catches people off guard though can be a deep sadness some times afterward.
A recent client, JoAnne, has given me permission to share some of her journal notes. She is a sweetheart to open up to the whole world. She writes so that others will know they are not alone if they are feeling pain after an abortion. Journalling her pain was a way JoAnne began a journey to peace.
Should I tell My Children I’ve had an Abortion? Many women who have voluntarily terminated a pregnancy wonder if they should share their abortion history with their children. There are a few things to consider before you make this decision. Here are a few suggestions to think about. 1).Is there a reason to share this information with your children?
Is it OK to talk about my abortion? Glamour Magazine offered an article (February '09) that almost knocked me off my feet. I was really shocked when the magazine actually had a piece that has been my own personal soapbox for years. You can read the article titled, "Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren't Talking About Until Now" by typing in this url:
Bloggers note: I often use the term "vpt" or voluntary pregnancy termination for the word abortion. I believe this takes the political argument out of the heart issue of abortion. A common response for women who have chosen abortion is that they are “so angry.” This emotion of anger seems to blind-side a person who has voluntarily terminated a pregnancy. This can also be confusing for your partner. He "thought" this is what you wanted. Well, maybe so did you!
Unless you've been in a cave all week, you probably heard Bill O'Reilly's controversial comment during a discussion of universal birth control on his Fox News show. He said: "Many, many people, many women, I hate to say it… Many women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex and aren't going to get birth control anyway."
It's hard to imagine the words "free" and "birth control" being in the same sentence, especially to the women who have spent years paying upwards of $30 for their montly pills. Yet, the Institute of Medicine (IOM), which deals exclusively with women's and reproductive issues, has released a new report that suggests birth control could soon be free and accessible for all American women.
Anger and revenge can make people do some pretty outlandish things. If you're Greg Fultz, it'll push you to post a billboard that shows your ex just how you feel. When Fultz found out that his then-girlfriend had an abortion against his wishes, he decided to put up a billboard in Alamogordo, N.M., with a picture of him cradling an outline of an infant in his arms. To make it more hard-hitting, the sign reads, "This Would Have Been a Picture of My 2-month Old Baby if the Mother Had Decided Not to Kill Our Child!"
My bf and I had a falling out days after I quit my job, and he broke up with me. I knew I had to beg to get my job back, but the management only asked that I commit to them at least until I finish school and I agreed. Well, this last weekend my boyfriend and I met up and had a great time, reminding me of why I wanted to make the move in the first place. He begged that I continue the relationship and relocate my life, but I feel so conflicted. He's suggesting I leave a resignation letter the day of and never return, but that's just not my style. Is it fair to quit my job twice within a week's time?
As a young girl—ovaries yet to ripen and hymen still in intact—reading Judy Blume books were like porn for me … educational porn. These were the pre-internet days, before I could Google "funny feeling down there" or "penis, hard-on." All I had was my imagination and my canon of Judy Blume books to aid my highly curious pre-teen mind. They were a permanent Sharpie mark on my burgeoning deviant mind.
Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere, (it's OK if you have been—we don't judge) you know that President Obama has really been shaking things up on Capitol Hill. Standing at the helm of the Democratic majority, he managed to push the first health care reform bill in 50 years (Medicare) through Congress. We have to admit, political parties aside, that this is an enormous achievement. But after the smoke has cleared, along with the shock and excitement, and the dismay of most Republicans, many are wondering how all this will affect their lives. And here at YourTango, of course we're worried about how this will impact our relationships. Government progress? Be still our hearts! But after the smoke has cleared, along with the shock and excitement, many are wondering how all this will affect their lives. And here at YourTango, of course we're worried about how this will impact our relationships. So with a salute to Uncle Sam, we put on our hard hats and dove into the 2,074 page bill to pull out the facts that matter most to you and your lover.