The Specific Issue That's The Strongest Indicator Of Divorce, According To Research

If you and your partner can't resolve this issue, your marriage may be in trouble.

By The Mind's Journal — Last updated on Aug 17, 2023

Photo: dapa images via Canva | Yaroslav Shuraev via Canva

By Sylvia Smith

Are you aware of the fact that a lack of communication in a relationship can sometimes lead to divorce?

Nobody goes into a new marriage hoping that it will fail.

Yet, even in 2023, many marriages are still ending in divorce. Why?

When you are feeling upset, angry, or have something on your mind, do you find it easy to come to your partner with your problems?

The answer should undoubtedly be yes, yet one of the biggest culprits of a failed marriage is the lack of relationship communication.

Communication is how couples express their feelings, deepen their marital friendship, build rapport, and solve problems together.

Without these essential skills, couples will be snowballing toward separation.

Here are some top studies that prove poor relationship communication can lead to divorce and what you can do about it.

Here's how to know if you have communication issues in your relationship, which are one of the strongest indicators of divorce:

1. Not feeling understood in your relationship

Is communication really everything in marriage? In short, the answer is yes.

One 2016 study tried to disprove this theory by checking in with newlywed couples four times over 36 months, where their overall happiness and communication skills were tested.

The results proved that “more satisfied couples communicate more positively” — so, the happiest couples are the ones who know how to communicate.

When you can communicate with your spouse, you feel understood in your relationship.

Your emotions are validated, respected, and cared for by your partner.

A lack of communication breeds distrust, self-doubt, and insecurity, which can be damaging to your bond.

A relationship cannot last if this essential element of relationship communication is missing in the marriage.

A lack of communication in a relationship can lead to divorce.

2. Inability to fight fair

When relationship communication falters, couples resort to unhealthy tactics to get their way during an argument.

Examples of unhealthy communication skills are as follows:

Using the ‘silent treatment to get your way or hurt your spouse
Interrupting your spouse when they are trying to speak to you
Playing on your phone during important discussions
Emotionally shutting off or being overly defensive when conversation topics become serious
Purposely belittling or disrespecting your spouse
Frequently going to bed angry
Having screaming matches with one another
Using violence (partner assault or throwing things across the room) as an outlet for frustration

Instead of letting these unhealthy behaviors crowd your ability to communicate, take a deep breath and refocus your intentions.

Here are some helpful tips to have better communication:

Be willing to open up and talk about your feelings
Give your partner your undivided attention
Stay calm and collected and try hard to listen to your partner’s point of view
Have empathy
Look for ways to compromise
Say 'I’m sorry'

Look at disagreements as an opportunity, rather than a hindrance.

See this as a chance to come together as a team and solve a problem together, instead of using it as an excuse to yell.

3. Zero communication at all

Intimacy isn’t everything in a marriage, but it is a pretty significant part of your relationship.

It determines how close, trusting, and happy you will be together.

Communication also plays a key role in how happy you are and how satisfying your life is going to be.

Research proves that intimate communication is positively associated with satisfaction and increased happiness in women.

The study also observes that both men and women were happier in general when they were able to speak to one another openly.

This is an important fact, as marital satisfaction is significantly associated with satisfaction.

When we are intimate with a partner, our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin.

This “love drug” is responsible for emotional bonding with a partner, as well as a significant reduction in stress.

Being regularly intimate with a spouse also boosts a couple’s love and liking for one another.

4. Being unable to talk about money

Research regarding common reasons for marital conflict found that out of 748 instances of conflict between 100 couples, money was the most intense and recurring topic couples fought about.

Money may not be the most pleasant topic to bring up, but couples need to learn to discuss their finances.

Be open and honest about money.

How much money are you making?

Do you intend to pool your money together or keep separate bank accounts?

What kind of debt have you brought into your marriage?

Knowing the answers to these questions will reveal how you will go about paying household bills and getting out of debt.

Discuss goals together.

Do you want to buy a house, car, go back to school, travel, or start a family together?

If so, you need to talk about how you plan to save and budget for these things.

5. Couples drift apart

In a study of 886 divorcing couples, 55 percent cited growing apart as a significant factor in their decision to separate.

A whopping 53 percent cite the inability to communicate as another common reason for divorce.

This study highlights the importance of being able to speak openly with your spouse, just as you would with a friend.

If you are not growing apart in your relationship, odds are, you are drifting apart.

The healthiest relationships are the ones where couples strike a delicate balance between being married partners and best friends.

Think about it — when you are friends with your spouse, you share the same interests.