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Can someone truly be happy forever with one person?
By Isabella Ong — Last updated on Oct 03, 2023
Growing up, there was this saying after every fairytale story or movie — “And they all lived happily ever after.” It’s a nice thought. It means that there’s this life where everything is beautiful and grand. Peachy keen. I mean who wouldn't want that kind of life?
I didn't question it much as a kid. I just thought ... this is it. I find my prince charming and we ride off into the sunset never looking back somehow living in a pink castle with tons of ponies and a mote.
I don't think anyone ever taught me what happened after happily ever after because there was no need to.
Cinderella, although she might not have any water bills to pay, is living with her prince charming who doesn't really know her other than her shoe size and one magical night. Belle is living with a man who suddenly went from beast to human and you're going to tell me there aren't some beastly habits that he hasn't broken out of and all of a sudden they're just living together all fine and dandy?
The thought of living happily ever after is problematic because it doesn't teach young boys and girls what happens after you fall in love.
Sure, living happily forever is a nice thought — but is it true that you'll never have problems and never disagree with your partner? Probably not. These ideas don't teach children how to foster better relationships.
It's important to teach and be honest about what happens after happily ever after so we're better prepared for real-world relationships. Rapunzel, Tiana, Aurora, and every other princess all found someone to love them for who they were, but the story is always incomplete.
Here are 10 brutal truths to know about living 'happily ever after' — plus, the reality of fairy tale endings:
1. You're going to argue with the person that you love
You won't agree on everything and that's okay. Just remember that it's "us vs. the problem," not "you vs. me."
2. Your partner will get on your nerves
I'm sure Prince Charming has a couple of bad habits that annoy Cinderella, but at the end of the day, she still loves him. It's okay to take time away from your prince or princess if it means you can collect your own thoughts and come back with a better, more sound mind of discussion.
3. Love is an action as much as it is a choice and emotion
Love isn't always enough. You have to be cognizant and choose to love your partner in all forms. It's about understanding what they need and going through with that.
4. You're not always going to look like a princess
Those who get out of bed suddenly looking as though a fairy godmother gave them a makeover only last for so long. Your partner is going to see the real you and they should love you regardless.
5. You'll have to compromise at some point
But where you can't, don't. Relationships are all about give and take, and the balance between the two is important. Don't always give, because that's not healthy, and make sure you aren't just taking.
6. Your partner won't always be able to slay dragons to win you over
Just make sure that he supports you in other ways. Also, sharing responsibilities, such as housework, is very critical; don't leave all the cleaning up to you.
7. You have to work every day to keep your partner
I think we forget that our partners can leave us any second. We take for granted that their presence in our lives is not permanent. Cinderella could walk away from her relationship just as easily as Prince Charming could. But if we continuously try to keep our partners as though they were never ours in the first place, our relationship will stay strong.
8. You can't forget the little things
You don't have to throw a grand ball to show that you love someone (but if you do, that's okay). A simple act of kindness and romance should suffice. Remembering how she likes her coffee in the morning is just as meaningful as saying "I love you."
9. You have to communicate with your partner (even when you really don't want to)
Ask your partner to teach you how to love them because no one knows how they want to be loved more than the person you are asking. Even if communicating can be difficult at times, it's still worth it and will pay off in the long run.
10. You have to practice love consistently
Remind your partner that you love them every day. Show them that you care as often as possible; it really is the little things that count. Recognize that they are precious and they are the ones that you want to be with forever and make sure they know that at all times.
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Isabella Ong is a freelance writer and social media editor at SheKnows. She has been featured in BuzzFeed, Yahoo Life, Read Unwritten, and more.