Photo: Aila Images via Shutterstock / Pexels / Chikovnaya via canva
While you may be drawn to one thing, you might really need another.
By Emily Ratay — Last updated on Aug 10, 2022
When it comes to relationships, what you want vs. what you need in a partner don't always align.
One reason for that might be thanks to astrology.
When it comes to zodiac compatibility, some signs are better for you than others. Though you might be attracted to a zodiac sign completely opposite of yours, what you need might be in a sign more similar to you. On the other hand, for some zodiac signs, what you want vs. what you need in a relationship isn’t all that different.
So, whether you’re looking for a new relationship or you want to know how to work on your current relationship, read on to find out what your zodiac sign's needs vs. wants in a relationship.
What you want vs. what you need in a relationship, based on your zodiac sign
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Aries, you want a partner who looks good and makes you look even better when you’re together. You’re not really shallow per se, but you do appreciate attractiveness in all its many forms — a handsome face, a fit body, and a dazzling smile.
You want someone you can show off, yes, but you also want someone who brings excitement and passion into every single day.
What you need, though, is someone who you won’t get bored of. Having passion every day is one thing, but if you start to expect the same old, same old, you’re going to get bored fast.
You need someone who is patient with you no matter what (and won’t shy away from forgiveness when you need it).
But above all else, you need someone who won’t run away when things get rough or when it’s hard to get along with each other.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus, you want a relationship that is right out of a romantic movie; complete with lots of everlasting attention and love.
Your ideal partner is someone who sees absolutely no fault in you but will gladly spend his life being your “fixer-upper” — basically, someone who loves you so much that he’s willing to change his entire self for you.
What you really need, Taurus, is a sense of undying respect for each other. Whether that’s something you talk about with your partner or just an unspoken, mutual agreement, you know better than anyone that if there’s no respect then there’s no relationship.
You also need someone you know is good enough for you (and vice versa) — not someone you’re constantly wishing were someone else or someone better.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini, you have so many high expectations for your relationships that you want everything in one person or no one at all. You want someone who is incredibly smart and funny but isn’t afraid to admit that he’s a little bit of a crazy mess sometimes.
In other words, you want to date yourself… or at least, someone who’s like your twin.
What you need, however, is someone who can balance out your personality with something different, but complementary.
You need someone who is wise and understanding; someone who really listens to you when you speak.
You also need someone who has serious impulse control — there’s usually only room for one spontaneous person in a relationship, which is a good thing (it makes you a more dynamic couple).
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer, it’s no secret to anyone who knows you that you want a relationship that is all affection, love, and gifts. You want someone who won’t hurt your feelings, intentionally or accidentally, because there’s just too much love between you two to ever fight.
If you could have anything in a relationship, it would be a partner who knows exactly what you want, when you want it — without you ever opening your mouth.
Of course, this kind of relationship only sounds realistic to you, Cancer. What you really need is someone to help you relax and loosen up a bit.
You might not realize it, but you’re so wound tight with expectations for yourself and your partner that you rarely have time to enjoy being in love at all.
Instead of dating a mind reader, you need a partner who is loyal, patient, and honest — so you never have to worry about how he really feels.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
It’s no surprise that as a Leo, you want someone who is your biggest fan. You love attention and you want a surplus of it in your relationship.
You may make mistakes and forget to share the love, but that’s what a partner who has undying support for you is for, right?
And, if all goes according to your plan, you have a partner you can show off to all of your friends and use as a way to boost your popularity.
But, ask yourself: is that really what you need, Leo? No, what you need is someone who tells it like it is; someone who’s honest with you and isn’t afraid to tell you that you’re acting a little selfish.
You need someone who is wise, understanding, and willing to grow with you and help you when you need it, not talk down to you.
Your partner should be forgiving and loving, but not smothering or submissive.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo, you basically want a partner who can be self-sufficient (and almost not even part of the relationship) and someone you can boss around (but in nicer terms).
You want to be able to date someone with as much intelligence and common sense as you, as well as an ability to take your criticism unflinchingly.
In other words, a partner who can simultaneously be there for you and give you space whenever you snap your fingers.
Instead of looking for what you want (which isn’t really a relationship at all), think about what you need. Criticism is very important to you, but more than that, you need someone who appreciates all that you do for yourself and for others.
You need someone who makes you feel happy and safe but still holds a few cards to their chest. Most importantly, you need a partner who knows who they are (so you don’t have to take care of them).
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Your biggest relationship goal on your wish list is being with someone who makes you want to spam Instagram with your cuteness.
You want everyone to secretly be jealous of the two of you because they're so romantic and you’re so adorable next to them.
You also want someone who will give you all the attention you could ever want, but in a sweet, romantic way that you can dream about all day.
What you really need, Libra, is a best friend — not a trophy partner. You need someone you can really talk to and get to know (even years down the road), but most importantly, someone who won’t take advantage of your love or your kindness.
And when things get crazy, you need a mediator who will always make you feel like you can conquer the world, instead of letting you drown in your own self-doubt.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You’re no stranger to the power control can give you in your own life, so being in a relationship where you can still feel control and almost omnipresent is something you’ve always wanted.
Yes, you want passion and adoration, too, but what’s really important to you is having a partner who can be submissive at all times with unwavering devotion for you.
This kind of relationship is really only workable in those hardcore romance books, Scorpio, so it’s better to take it down a few notches while you can.
What you really need in a relationship is respect and someone with a backbone — even if it feels better to have someone succumb to you.
You need loyalty in every situation, and to know that your partner will never hurt you — something that they can prove with their faithfulness and honesty.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 19)
You know that a serious relationship can be scary and a bit hard, Sagittarius, so what you really want is someone who isn’t interested in a textbook relationship.
You want someone who appreciates your values and is so similar to you that it’s like they're your twin.
You want someone who is a little dangerous and a lot of fun, someone who will go anywhere and do anything as long as you’re together.
Just because you like to have fun and you want to be free doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that makes a relationship worthwhile. What you need is a partner who can bring consistency to the relationship without making you sacrifice your independence.
You need someone who gets you and understands that you have needs both within and outside of the relationship. A partner who can forgive will make you feel loved and welcome.
Capricorn (December 20 - January 19)
Capricorn, you want a partner who is like-minded and a relationship that doesn’t get in the way of your work life. It should feel easy and successful without you having to put much work into it.
You want someone who is loyal to a fault and a relationship that could be described as perfect by everyone who knows you, even if you yourself know it isn’t perfect.
What you really need, though, is someone who helps you get out of your head and see that the best things in life are right in front of you.
You need imagination and youthfulness because, Capricorn, you’re already the most grown-up person anyone will ever know.
Of course, you still have to be yourself, so having a partner who isn’t a total pushover, but does let you be the boss will make your relationship that much better.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius, you want your relationship to be a little bit of everything, but still be one of a kind. You want a partner who can be crazy smart, romantic, and funny all rolled into one, as well as someone you can call your best friend.
Freedom is very important to you, so you want to be in a relationship but for it to feel like you’re still your own person without being attached to someone else.
What you really need is independence — something very different from freedom. With independence, you can be your own person and do your own thing, yet still be able to have a solid relationship.
You do need a best friend, but someone you can talk to about anything; communication is key. You also need someone who’s intelligent like you, but with a different kind of intelligence so that you’re always learning together.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You definitely want a fairytale romance, Pisces, with someone who you can describe as artistic, poetic, and sensitive.
You might not say it out loud, but the thought of fixing someone who might feel a little lost or unloved is incredibly romantic to you because you love the idea of being someone’s hero.
You want someone who dazzles you but is also dazzled by you.
What you need instead, Pisces, is someone who is strong enough to be their own person without wanting to be fixed.
You need someone who will always wait for you and will never call it quits for no reason.
You may get caught up in your own thoughts, but your ideal partner has patience for days and is the stability in your life you’ve always needed without being condescending or authoritative.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes.