To My Father's Mistress Who Destroyed My Family

Photo: unsplash / pietra schwarzler
An Open Letter To My Father's Mistress Who Broke My Family
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Family, Heartbreak

You broke my family, and the most important relationship I had in my life, the one with my father.

By Samantha Walisundra

To the woman that changed my life,

My greatest strength and weakness is my ability to forgive. But when it comes you to and what you did, I am finding it harder to forgive, and even harder to forget. It always takes two for relationships to form, and you are not the only one responsible for what has happened. But the bond between a father and daughter is one of the most sacred and precious bonds out there. And in my heart lies an alliance with my father that I will never have to you.  

You broke my family, and the most important relationship I had in my life, the one with my father. By not choosing to think about the consequences of your actions, by failing to act as an adult, a parent, a decent human being, you caused destruction in a home that was just beginning to rebuild itself. My family is far from perfect, and the marriage between my parents even farther, but that doesn’t mean you had any right to take advantage of that. To take advantage of my father who may have been looking for attention. You prey on the vulnerability of men, grasping onto them by giving them what they need, some attention and lust disguised as love. 


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You are a mother, and I just wish you could have taken a moment to understand how your relationship would change the world of my family. You saw a U.S Citizen, a prospect of future husband and provider for your children, forgetting that he also has two children of his own, two children who saw the world in him.

You failed to see the sorrow and pain in his wife’s heart as she overheard your conversations with him. You failed to see that his daughter, who once blindly trusted her father, couldn’t be near him anymore. And the prescription bottles that lined her desk for depression, anxiety, and constant migraines. You failed to see how this would affect his only son, who despite putting on an indifferent face each day, would end the day hugging his pillow and sobbing to himself. In fact, you never thought about anyone but yourself, despite being married once and having two children of your own. That’s the thing, you didn’t think. Because if you did, you never would have continued carrying such an illicit relationship with my father.

I bet you didn’t think his children would grow to be repulsed by you and vulgar behavior. You didn’t see it coming when his own daughter asked him to choose between you or her. Or that my father would have to live a double life just to save the sanity of his own family. You will never be worthy of my father. He is a good man, but a man nonetheless. And you knew exactly how to lure him into your trap, to seduce him with lust, and to prey on the one thing that makes my father who he is, his sensitivity.


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I love easily, and over the years I’ve learned to forgive as well. My neck is adorned with a Dhammachakka, a sacred Buddhist symbol that reminds me to live with compassion, respect, and integrity. It has given me strength in the dark times and tears that you have given me. I have been through many things, but dealing with an affair was the last thing I would have ever suspected. I will never be able to forgive someone as vile as you, but I will thank you for one thing. 

Thank you for giving me another chance in life to show everyone, and especially you, how strong I am. Because despite everything that has ever happened, I am here today. I have conquered every single moment of absolute loss and will continue to do so every day. Every sun sets to rise again, and one day, you will truly understand what the Buddha meant when he said, “Lust and greed ruin the mind as weeds ruin fields.” And I do believe in karma. Because one day, it will come to you, and you will someday feel what I am feeling. You will one day experience what you did to my family, and I can only hope that you will then, be able to understand the pain and heartache which you have caused everyone. All I ask is that you fix your wrongs before it is too late…

Signed, 

Your Lover’s Daughter

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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