8 Reasons to Use Lube To Make Sex Better (And How to Choose The Right One)

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how to use lube
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Sex

Slip-n-slide!

Lube is not on everyone’s bedside list. But maybe it really should be. Maybe you’re not reaching your full pleasure potential. Maybe you’re even a little in the pain zone and aren’t sure what gives.

While you may readily associate lube of some kind with anal sex or post-menopausal women, its magical and compassionate uses are manyfold, and there’s also probably a lot you don’t know about how to use lube or how to choose a good (rather than evil lube) for your particular body, and whatever kind of sex you happen to be having or want to be having.

Your partner may need to check their assumptions at the door. You may need to, as well. Here are a few common assumptions people make about arousal that are just not true.

  • That aroused = wet: While this is often true, there are many reasons that a highly aroused woman may still be on the dry side: stress, lack of sleep, hormones (all connected), or having smoked a J, to name a few.
  • That wet = aroused: It goes both ways. I’ve personally been pretty wet, while still not feeling aroused enough to have sex comfortably. Sometimes it’s because if I feel my partner is rushed, I get turned off. Never substitute arousal with lube. Lube is there to help you along, but don’t let anyone tell you you’re ready for penetration if you’re not.
  • That younger women who use lube must have a problem: See assumption #1 for reasons a woman of any age may be hung out to dry. Also, side note: we have to stop our bad habit of hyper-sexualizing young women and girls and desexualizing older women. Gross. We’re all juicy goddesses looking for a way to fly.
  • That a little pain is normal; it's supposed to hurt: I hear this one a lot as it pertains to anal sex (thankfully never from my own lovers’ mouths). Just... no. Sex is not supposed to hurt (and neither is love, while we’re at it). Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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So, let me break this down for you. Here are 8 reasons you should really be lubing up:

1. You have vaginal dryness.

Whether you’re just naturally less wet, are dealing with medical issues (post-menopausal), or for any other reason.

2. You're using sex toys.

Toys can multiply your pleasure exponentially, but I highly recommend always adding a bit of lube first.

3. It intensifies pleasure internally.

You can use it externally on your family jewels as well as internally for intensified pleasure overall.

4. It makes sex last longer.

Sex can last longer, because there are fewer chances of hold-ups, friction, or pain.

5. It can help when dealing with a big penis.

If his penis is really big, lube will make the whole thing (his whole thing) more pleasurable for you. Pleasure is the point, right?

6. It’s easier and more fun to use condoms with lube.

And condoms are often really important, am I right? Using “lubricated” condoms isn’t always so effective, though; they’re often only wet at the tip. So, before the condom dries you out, lube it up. Also, adding a touch of it to his penis before putting the condom on can up his pleasure potential too.

7. Lube prevents infections. 

If you’re bumping and grinding without enough lube action, there will be friction, which generates heat, which encourages bacterial growth. Wetter is better, babes.

8. It's way more effective (and more glam) than saliva.

I’ve never been a fan of spit as lube myself. Plus, it dries up fast. If spit is your jam, though, keep it up. Just use lube too if you wanna stay wet. 


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So now that I've essentially convinced you to board the lube train, here's how to use lube and what to look for when shopping for it:

1. Water-based lubes 

Water-based lubes are nice and slippery and easy to clean up with just water. But they may need to be reapplied periodically if you're pulling an all-nighter. Look for high-quality (body-safe) options that are petrochemical, glycerin, and paraben-free.

2. Check the ingredients 

If you’re sensitive, make sure you check for glycerine or cellulose content, since these ingredients can cause heightened susceptibility to yeast and other infections.

3. Silicone-based lubes

Silicone-based lubes are very slick and can be used in water if that’s what you’re up to. They’re also less likely to need multiple applications than water-based lubes.

You need soap and water to clean it up. Try not to get it all over the place to avoid slipping when you finally stand up (assuming you’re horizontal).

4. Silicone sex toys 

If you use silicone lube on silicone toys, it will gradually break the things down. So try to avoid that.

5. Latex condoms 

Always use water or silicone-based lube (rather than oil-based) with latex condoms, because oil-based lube can break down or even break condoms! I was really into coconut oil anal until I found this out.

6. Non-latex condoms 

If latex condoms are not part of your repertoire (Skyn condoms are a great non-latex choice, by the way), oil-based lubes like jellies and oils can feel incredible. If you’re especially sensitive to artificial products, plant-based options like olive, coconut or grape oils are a healthy and eco-friendly option, but your sheets will carry the scent for a while, and it can occasionally stain.

7. Arousal lubes 

Arousal lubes (usually water-based) can enhance add to your good lovin’ with warming, tingling, sensations.

8. Flavored lubes

Flavored lubes (also water-based) come in many flavors too. It’s true. Before you get grossed out, just know that organic lubes are out there too to make this option that much more appetizing.

No matter what lube you select for your own personal sensual adventure, rule #1, as always, is: have fun. A lot of it. Slip-sliding, smooth-riding fun. Because everyone deserves great sex.


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Bellesa is a platform on which women are empowered to celebrate their sexuality.

This article was originally published at Bellesa. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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