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Knowing these things makes everyone's lives easier.
By Unwritten — Written on Jul 15, 2021
Men can be so damn oblivious.
What we think might be obvious might really not be that obvious after all, but as women, we have a tendency to assume they just know when they don’t. It’s impossible for them to know what we are thinking unless we say it, so we don’t really have a reason to be mad if they are unaware.
But there are some things that we may not feel comfortable saying to a partner or that we wish we could tell random male strangers, but we’re too afraid to.
We might not even think it’s an issue but out of nowhere, it can randomly become one.
Here are what women wish men knew about them:
1. Reassurance is important.
It doesn’t matter if things seem to be going well on a romantic level or not. Keep reminding us that you care or what your intentions are. It’s so good for us to know and help us feel safe.
2. Getting consent is imperative.
There’s nothing like the first time being with someone. A fire of excitement is burning through your body and there’s an undeniable anxiousness that we all get. But nothing is more attractive when they stop and seek approval. It shows us you care.
3. Your skin color doesn’t scare us in public; your gender does.
At any time of day, if I am walking alone and no one is near me and I see a man of any age, size, or race, I get nervous and grab my bag. And most women are the same. The closer you are to us the more panic we feel, so distance yourselves and don’t slow down your pace if you don’t want to scare us.
4. The awkward laugh means “No,” or “Stop.”
If they awkwardly laugh and do not answer your question, that’s a no. They just feel uncomfortable telling you that. So if you ask them something and they laugh, or if you approach them and they laugh, please leave them alone. They have a hard time telling you that, so respect them.
5. We’re scared of vulnerability because we think it’ll scare you away.
It’s sad but true. We have no problem opening up but men don’t always know how to take us so it can be very scary for us to do it. You need to show it to us to receive it from us if you want us to that badly.
6. Read the signs at the club.
If their girlfriend grabs them when the man is in pursuit, she doesn’t want to dance and she is creeped out. Leave her alone. Same thing if she says she’s going to the washroom, or one of her friends says it, too.
7. Because of other men, we automatically assume you’re the same.
Because we’ve had damaging experiences before we automatically assume you’ll be the same so it’s up to you to change that for us. We have a slightly unexpected expectation that you know you will have to prove it to us, even though we know you’d never guess. An effort to prove us wrong will make a difference.
Being a woman in today’s times we feel empowered and encouraged to speak up and be proud, yet we still have such a fear of men in some bizarre ways. It’s important to remember that the problem can only be solved by communication or else we won’t see change.
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Brittany Christopoulos went to Seneca College for broadcast journalism, where she mastered the art of television and radio announcing. Aside from balancing a busy schedule, she loves to volunteer, attend every boyband concert imaginable, and of course, write.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.