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It may be time to take a break.
By Emily Ratay — Written on Nov 03, 2017
Relationships are not all sunshine and butterflies all the time; trust me, I get it. But it can be hard to spot those red flags if you're coupled with a zodiac sign that doesn't communicate in the same way as you.
We all wish that relationships could be easier — if they were, there would probably never be fights or cheating, or even fun. Yeah, I said it. Having a little discord in your relationship can be fun.
Ever have angry sex? Exactly. But discord lasting for more than a few hours or a day should always be cause for concern. You’re not supposed to hate the person you’re in a relationship with, even when you do fight with them.
Because when you ignore the red flags in your relationship, you’re doing a whole lot more damage to your happiness and future with that person than you think.
Red flags are like little warning bells (or huge ringing, flashing sirens – depending on how you want to think of them) that tell you something in your relationship is wrong. It’s the feeling you get when you’re uneasy about something your partner has said, how they act, or how they treat you.
You can tell it’s a red flag when you feel it in your gut; when your first reaction is, “Whoa, where did that come from?” before thinking about it makes you reconsider. Of course, red flags aren’t always obvious to the people in a relationship.
Sometimes, it’s your best friend or your sister that has that “whoa” realization, and has to be the one to tell you what she’s feeling. Or you might be the one to do the same for them.
But once you find out what exactly the red flag is in YOUR relationship, it’s essential that you make decisions based on your own happiness and needs, not sweeping your partner’s bad attitude or destructive quirks under the rug because you don’t want to lose something good.
Relationship red flags come in all different shapes and sizes, all of which should be recognized for what they are and handled immediately.
And depending on what your horoscope says about you, there may be some obvious red flags that mean you should probably take a break from your relationship – at least until you can figure it out.
So keep reading to found out your sign’s relationship red flag, based on astrology, and use this knowledge to really think about your relationship so you can have a better future with (or without) your partner.
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Anyone who has ever dated you, Aries, knows that you don’t have time for petty things. Sure, you can sometimes exact revenge on those you feel deserve it (only if they hurt you bad), but you don’t go out of your way to make someone miserable.
That’s why you have such a good nose for bullsh*t – you know when people aren’t being their true selves around you and are up to no good. Of course, when you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to tell if your significant other is all he’s cracked up to be, especially when you’ve got your rose-colored glasses on.
But one red flag you know is ALWAYS cause for concern is when your S.O. is keeping secrets. Sure, everyone has secrets, but you know when there’s something bigger going on and this is something huge. There should be no secrets at all in a healthy relationship, which means he doesn’t trust you for some reason.
You can try getting it out of him, but whether he confides in you or not, you really should step away and figure out how much this will affect your relationship before making any decisions you may regret later.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
Everyone loves to be loved when they’re in a relationship (duh, right?). But Taurus, you know better than anyone that there is a fine line between cute morning texts and wanting to stay in bed all day together and totally clingy behavior. You can sometimes get carried away when you’re in a relationship that you’re really happy with, but even you know how to set boundaries.
That said, you DO know when this clingy, needy behavior can get way too out of hand.
As a Taurus, you’re probably one of the needier signs of the zodiac. This can make it hard to tell when someone is getting fed up with your behavior, but when it finally happens to you, you understand how bad it can be.
Before this red flag turns out to be worse than you thought, try to talk to your boo about his behavior. Of course, if he’s pretty infatuated with you, this talk isn’t going to have much effect on him. It’s when you start feeling smothered even when you’re away from your S.O. that you know to step away from the relationship.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Communication is key in all of your relationships, Gemini; romantic or platonic. And if you aren’t constantly texting, calling, and talking to your bae, then you know something is up. Of course, no one runs their mouth as much as you do, so you try to give him the benefit of the doubt.
But even you know when your partner is being less than chatty with you. And if that isn’t concerning enough, the fact that he won’t talk with you about anything – let alone his day at work – is enough to make you question everything.
One thing you need to remember is not to blame yourself whenever there’s a hint of a problem in your relationship. That said, if he refuses to talk to you about what he’s feeling, doesn’t care about what you did on your day off, and would rather go to bed early than watch Netflix with you, there’s something going on. And instead of trying to yank it out of him, taking a step away from the relationship is the better solution to this red flag.
Maybe the mutual lack of communication will help him see what he’s been putting you through.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
If anyone knows the power of insecurity, it’s you, Cancer. You are VERY familiar with the feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and shyness, and you try not to let these feelings get in the way of having a healthy relationship. It’s not so much that you’re drawn to people who are similar to you, but you like knowing that you can be your genuine self around someone you love.
So when your partner is feeling a little anxious and shy himself, you feel like you know how to handle it.
Of course, your job in a relationship is NOT to be your partner’s therapist. You know there’s a red flag when your significant other’s insecurity goes far beyond his lack of confidence in himself. Instead of wanting to go out with you, he wants to stay at home. He might question how he feels about the relationship and make it sound like you’re temporary in his life.
He might even refuse to talk about personal things because he feels like you can’t relate. However he shows his insecurity, he’s still shutting you out, which is something that should be taken seriously.
LEO (July 23 - Aug 22)
Leo, you have always found that connecting with your partners through intimacy is just as important as connecting through communication and spending time together. Plus, sex and intimacy make you feel WAY more confident and less stressed so you can be the superstar you already know you are.
That said, everyone has their off days – which means you can’t blame your partner for not wanting to get intimate all the time… Or can you blame him?
To you, a red flag is having no intimate connection with your significant other. There will be times when work has you both exhausted, and feeling sad or off your game makes it hard for you to feel sexy, but those are all normal occurrences in life. It’s when you realize that he refuses to touch or kiss you (for seemingly no reason), and gets totally weirded out when you try to flirt with him, that you know something serious is going on.
Talking it out might help you see where he’s coming from, but it’s still a good idea of step away from it all for a bit.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Seeing everything that’s wrong in your relationship can be incredibly difficult, especially if you’re prone to shrugging off the little bumps in the road (I’m talking about you, Virgo).
That said, you aren’t one to let people walk all over you, so it’s not uncommon for you to tell your S.O. to cut the crap when he’s acting like a jerk. But even though you call out his more obvious faults, he can still be getting away with so much more right underneath your nose.
You’re not the only sign to let your rose-colored glasses cloud what’s really happening, but instead of being totally oblivious to it all – whether he’s flirting with other women, using you for your money, or treating you poorly – there’s one red flag you’d never ignore: your friends. If there are ever times that your friends have refused to hang out with you both or tried telling you that you could do better, it’s time to start listening to them.
You already value their input, so don’t let the fear of breaking up with your S.O. forget that they’re here to help you make good choices.
LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
As a Libra, you’re all about pleasing the people you love – especially your partner. But you still know the difference between making your boo happy and bending over backward. You even pride yourself in knowing when your partners (especially in new relationships) are really into you or are taking advantage of your kindheartedness.
Of course, just because you think you’ve got it all figured out doesn’t mean you’re still learning every day. In fact, whenever you find yourself wondering how you never saw a certain side of your partner before, that’s probably not a good thing, Libra.
You always try to control your emotions, so when your S.O. starts acting erratically, it can be hard for you to know how to help him. But it’s when he becomes unrecognizable (something you may not have seen before) that you know your relationship is in danger – you don’t know how he handles his emotions.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Trust has always been something you look for first in a new relationship, Scorpio – romantic or otherwise. You hate being the person who was left looking like a fool because you read someone completely wrong. You always look for the honest truth upfront before taking things slow. This tends to make relationships pretty strong for you because everyone knows how important it is to have a relationship built on trust.
That said, people can change and the honesty you saw in him three months ago (or three years ago) might be long gone now.
Luckily for you, you can tell when people you once knew are starting to act differently. That said, it’s imperative that you acknowledge this lack of trust and honesty as a red flag and don’t just ignore it. If your partner knows that he can get away with lying to you, then the relationship will start to crumble fast.
You might want to know why exactly he’s lying to you, but even if it seems like he’s coming clean, don’t let that influence your decision to leave. It’s better to take a break and come back to a relationship instead of forgiving and forgetting so quickly.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 19)
You’re a fairly easy-going person when it comes to relationships, Sagittarius. You hate being known as the girlfriend who can’t let things go, no matter how long ago they were. You would MUCH rather be the cool girl who only cares about loving her partner instead of all the other little junk that gets in the way.
This is great and all, but it can make you seem like a giant pushover – not a woman in a stable relationship. And if your partner thinks he can get away with anything, then he’s definitely going to try.
One of the biggest red flags you should never ignore (especially you, Sagittarius) is if your man tells you that he’s still in contact with his exes. There’s obviously a difference between being friendly with them and keeping them as permanent fixtures in his life, and it’s important to know which category he’s in.
I know, you don’t want to seem overbearing or jealous, but just because he says he’s “just friends” with his ex-girlfriend doesn’t really make it okay for them to hang out at your apartment on a weekly basis. Take some time alone to evaluate this relationship red flag.
CAPRICORN (Dec 20 - Jan 19)
When you date, Capricorn, you date for life. What does this mean exactly? It means that you want a long-term relationship that has a future you can actually see happening – not just a fantasy you talk about when you’re drunk with friends. So, dating is very serious to you, which means that whoever you are dating should be in the same mindset.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you adhere to strict rules and no fun – it just means that you see all relationships going somewhere… and not just to your place after flirting at the bar for a few hours.
To you, relationships need a sense of maturity to them if they are going to last. And one huge red flag for you is immaturity in your partner. This doesn’t mean that he has a tantrum every time he doesn’t get his way (though it CAN mean that), but rather that he doesn’t care about making plans weeks in advance, meeting your parents, or calling your relationship serious.
You know what you want out of a relationship and when you don’t see any potential in your current significant other, consider that your red flag to reevaluate how you feel.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
People tend to understand that no one can tell you what to do except yourself, Aquarius, but that doesn’t stop people from trying to push your limits. You want all of your relationships to be built on mutual respect and whenever someone tries to test you, you get rid of them for good.
That’s a great way to handle things, especially because you know you’re worth more than respect only some of the time, but it can still be tricky for you to leave a relationship when you KNOW you’re being treated poorly.
One thing you can’t stand in a relationship is controlling behavior. You want to feel comfortable being yourself in a relationship and not have to worry about what your partner really thinks of you. That said, just because you notice this red flag doesn’t mean you know how to make the controlling behavior stop. It might seem like not a big deal at first, but when it goes on without you calling him out on his behavior, that’s when trouble happens.
When you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself or water yourself down to please your S.O., that’s your cue to step away.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
One of your ultimate goals in life, Pisces, is to find a great big love and hold onto it forever. That might mean marriage and babies, or just really good sex, but however you see your future, there’s definitely a serious relationship in it. You also know exactly what you want in a relationship and you know that it takes time for a healthy, happy relationship to form.
That doesn’t always stop you from fantasizing about your future with someone when you’re really into them.
The biggest red flag for you is when you feel like your partner is trying to rush into things with you. Sure, you want to get serious and get married, but he’s already talking about what your six kids will be named. Or the fact that you told him you weren’t ready to have sex with him yet and he’s trying to change your mind with some scented candles.
Really?! This is all too much. Just don’t let your guilt about possibly breaking his heart stop you from saying stop. This red flag means you need some serious alone time to figure out if he’s worth staying with.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a book in the future.