Twin Flame Q&A Column: My Soulmate Is Married, What Do I Do?

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what's a twin flame
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Our twin's purpose is to come in and destroy the life we had built.

Simple questions deserve simple answers... except when it involves the twin flame dynamic.

What's a twin flame? Twin Flames might be a new concept to you, or perhaps you’re reading this because you have a twin who is married or in a significant relationship. This type of relationship is like the ultimate soulmate relationship.

At the beginning of time, each soul was split into two separate energy cores and their mission is to spend each lifetime learning about unconditional love so that during one of the last reincarnations they will meet in the same life as the ultimate lovers.

This column began because of you, because of readers who don’t know what to do, who are confused and at the end of their rope because no one can ever truly plan for the meeting of the person that was sent to you to change your life.

I received the following question from a fellow reader:

Dear Kate,

Do I just hope that its part of the plan to reunite and quietly live my life and see what happens? I've read that I can use my energy to "make" it happen, but is that real? Or do I forget about him completely and move on? Any other advice for people that are in marriages and know who their TF is but want to unite?

Signed, L


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Dear L,

The confusing reality is that twin flames most often meet when one or both twins are married or in significant relationships. This is just one small aspect that often leaves them wondering if it’s nothing more than a clichéd extramarital affair, yet there is a purpose to it.

Usually, twins will meet later in life once parameters of that existence have been set up such as career, marriage, and children. The twins most likely will be happy enough, yet there will be that subconscious tug pulling them towards that auspicious thing.

This desire isn’t meant to distract them from what truly matters; rather, it's to help direct them towards their "soul purpose." For so many of us, we make choices for our lives based on other people or on the societal norms that have been set in place for generations.

Quite simply, our twin flame’s purpose in our life is to come in and destroy it as we know it so that we can get to the heart of what really matters.

Part of what you have to understand is that the love and relationship twin flames find themselves in is only the byproduct of the self-growth that both have decided to take part in. So, there is an aspect you have to hold onto, knowing you are meant to reunite in your heart but then also continue to live life as it comes along.

The more twins try to grasp ahold of physical reunion, the further away it will drift. So yes, you need to let it play out as it is meant to, knowing that many twin flame journeys take up to five to six years to go from meeting to an actual physical reunion of a relationship.


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The aspect of forgetting about him is an interesting question unto itself because many twins think that those feelings or deep connection between them will eventually go away. As amazing as the connection is, it also triggers and frustrates us because we want what we feel is real. So when this happens and no actual relationship manifests, it becomes easier to think, "Well, maybe I should just forget about him/her even though this isn’t a possibility."

How do you forget the other half of your soul? What you have to do is focus on the "why" right now. Why do you think your twin flame came into your life? What is he here to teach you? Are you struggling with an aspect of moving forward?

Focus on you and where your life path leads you. But during this process, you can also use your energy to not only assist in reunion but also communicate with him on a telepathic level, which is also a quality that is present with twin flames.

Try to send him warm, radiating love from your heart to his with feelings of peace, patience, and acceptance. Understand that you are on this journey for a reason and that it’s not about rushing to the end but taking your time to find out what purpose is waiting for you to discover. Explore issues surrounding spirituality and your beliefs in any greater power that is present in this world, because these thoughts are also tied tight to the twin flame development.

And above all, you can’t ever lose faith. Things happen and manifest when they are meant to, not when we want them to, so let go of an outcome and try to welcome whatever does come.


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Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, life coach, mentor, mother, rule breaker and rebel. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold.

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