The Zodiac Signs Ranked Most To Least Likely To Bail You Out When Times Get Tough

most reliable zodiac sign bail you out of jail when times get tough
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Who has your back, REALLY?

Have you ever thought about who would be there for you if you needed some bail money? Think about it in a not-so-serious way … because we ALL know ending up in jail is usually a very serious thing.

But I mean maybe one night, you and your friends were out partying and you got really bored and decided to explore a little. Of course, when you’re drunk or influenced by your friends, this isn’t always a good idea. But anyway.
 

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You’re exploring with your best friends. All of a sudden, one of them dares you to take a dip in your neighbor’s swimming pool, so you do. And then, all of you are just hanging out and having fun, until you realize that your neighbors are actually home … and they’ve just called the police on you.

Well, if you run, you’ll probably get into more trouble, and if you don’t, you’re screwed. But it doesn’t matter because the police are there. You're arrested. Bummer. BIG time. 

Now, who will post your bail and fork up your jail money?

Whether your friends were arrested too or not isn’t really important right now. What’s important is getting out of jail.

Preferably without someone like your parents or other family members finding out. Because then, not only are you in a bad mood because you’ve been arrested, but you’re also embarrassed that this story is going to come up every year at Thanksgiving or Christmas or other holiday for the next 10 years.

When you do actually get arrested, you now end up in jail. And getting OUT of jail is something you hope will be as painless and as quick as possible.

Because otherwise, you're gonna wish you had never gotten caught in the first place.

So how exactly do you get out of jail once you've been arrested? Well, I don't know about you, but I think my first call would be to my best friend because I know she'd ALWAYS bail me out of jail... at least, I hope she would.

Let me put it this way: getting arrested is kind of a big deal. I mean, it might have been for something small, but you still need someone to get you out, right? And while your best friend might love you, actually wanting to bail you out might not be something she's up for.

And hey, if it's late or if she doesn't agree that what you did was just minor, sometimes you can't blame her for not wanting to bail you out. 

But then there are the friends who hear, "Hey I'm in jail," and IMMEDIATELY come to your rescue, no questions asked. And those are the friends who are always ride and die for you no matter what. 

So what's the difference between these two extreme types of friends? And how do you know which one YOU are in this situation?
 

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Well, according to your horoscope, you're either more likely to bail your friend out of jail or not, all based on your key astrology traits. And keep this guide with you in case YOU are ever in jail and need bailing out because this list will tell you who to call and who to wait until you're out of jail to tell.

So, keep reading to find out which zodiac signs are most to least likely to bail you out of jail. 

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 19)

When I say that Sagittarius is a ride or die chick, I’m dead serious. Bailing you out of jail is just another day in the life of Sagittarius, especially if you’re one of her closest friends.

She knows that partying and exploring with her can get a little out of hand, and if she’s the reason you get arrested, she’s going to be your ticket out.

The only reason she wouldn’t be there to bail you out of jail … is if she were in jail WITH you. Maybe your plans got REALLY out of hand and she went against her best judgment (just because she likes to have a good time doesn’t mean she doesn’t make mistakes!).

And now all of a sudden you’re both stuck in jail. Even in that situation, she still has the hookups to get the both of you out. Sagittarius to the rescue!

RELATED: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius (As Written By One)


 

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

Scorpio is good to her friends and does what she can to help you. Just don’t be surprised if you call to ask her to bail you out of jail and the first thing she says is, “WHAT?!” (It’s bound to happen).

But her reaction doesn’t mean she isn’t going to help you. In fact, there’s a really easy way to make sure she ALWAYS says yes when you ask her for a hand.

Scorpio never wants her friends to think that she doesn’t care when her friends are in a bad situation. So, if at first, you shock her with your plea for help, just remind her that you appreciate how she’s always there for you.

Yes, she knows you’re just trying to get out ASAP, but she can still tell if you’re being genuine with her or not. Rest assured, if you make her feel like an important friend (which she already is), she’ll bail you out.

RELATED: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio (As Written By A Scorpio)


 

LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22)

Libra helps friends before they even actually need help, so bailing you out of jail is nothing different for her. Even if you were with her and there was a possibility that you would be arrested, she would probably tell the officer it was all her fault, not yours.

It’s a risky move, but Libra is willing to do what she can to help out a friend — especially if she knows that you would do the same for her.

Of course, if you DO get arrested and she isn’t there to help you, she’s always there to bail you out, one way or another. Libra is surprisingly resourceful, and it’s probably due to the fact that she loves showing her friends that she likes going above and beyond for them.

She’s willing to go out of her way to help bail you out, whether it’s just a persuading phone call to your mother or asking another friend for assistance (or cash).

RELATED: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra (As Written By A Libra)


 

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Pisces knows that there will be sticky situations where you make a mistake or get caught (or something in between).

You need someone to bail you out of jail. She might not condone your behavior or whatever it was you were doing that got you arrested, but she always comes through for her friends.

She wants to be known as the friend you can always count on, even if that means having to be your go-to phone call from jail.

Pisces always tries to be a helpful friend, no matter what the situation is. What makes her such a great friend to call when you need to be bailed out of jail is that she knows if she were in your position, she would want help from her friends, too.

So instead of trying to make you feel bad for getting arrested in the first place, her intuitive mature kicks in and she tries to put herself in your shoes.

RELATED: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces (As Written By A Pisces)


 

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

Virgo is loyal to everyone in her life, regardless if they are a friend, family, or sometimes even a colleague from work. Virgo believes in giving what you receive, so if her friend bailed her out in a time of need, she would do the same.

Even if the situation wasn’t as serious as actually getting arrested — maybe she was just short a few dollars at dinner — she would still put that good deed in her book for later.

Virgo’s loyalty really knows no bounds, which means she constantly helps out her friends and family, no matter what they need. Of course, if she feels like you are trying to take advantage of her loyalty or pretend to care about her when you really don’t.

She isn’t afraid to let you stay in jail and think about what you’ve done. Virgo is NOT one to underestimate; her kindness is not something that can (or should) be taken for granted.

RELATED: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)


 

CAPRICORN (Dec 20 - Jan 19)

Capricorn will bail you out if you’re in jail, but only after lecturing you first. She is commonly referred to as the “mom friend,” which means that she loves and cares for you, but she’s also very protective and sometimes has to scold you for your mistakes.

You might get a lot of eye-rolling from her when she picks you up, and you can almost guarantee the ride home from the station isn’t going to be fun, but she WILL bail you out.

As the mom friend, Capricorn feels like she has to be in charge of all of her friends who are less mature than she is. She isn’t condescending about bailing you out unless you’re in jail for something totally off the wall, but she tries to relate your behavior to how she would act in your situation.

And if you ever feel like you’re going to end up in jail again, just ask yourself, “What would Capricorn do?” and go from there.

RELATED: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn (As Written By One)


 

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini will bail a friend in need out of jail, but only if you meet her conditions; and yes, there are conditions to her kindness. The most important one is no lying to her. If she thinks for one minute that the story you’re telling her about how you got arrested is a lie, you’re on your own.

Gemini loves her friends, but she doesn’t want to be taken as a fool.

Secondly, you have to do something for her in the future. She doesn’t know what this favor is going to be yet, but the later it gets in the night when you have to call her for help, the worse this favor is going to be.

She might be a bit grudging when figuring out what she needs to do to bail you out, so you owe her. It’s not a fun experience, and you may regret calling her later, but what other choice do you have right now?!

RELATED: 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini (As Written By One)


 

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer is another sign that has some conditions when it comes to bailing you out of jail, but she isn’t one to blackmail you into helping her later on.

Her condition to helping you is that she has to have affection towards you. You can’t be a colleague of hers that she’s had lunch with twice in the last month asking for a bailout.

You can even try the “I’ll owe you” argument, but it won’t work.

If you’re one of the few people Cancer would walk through fire for, then you don’t even have to ask; she’ll bail you out in a heartbeat. But while Cancer’s affection might seem like it’s few and far between, but it only feels that way at first.

It’s not hard to get on Cancer’s good side, but you really do have to show that you don’t just want her around because she’s kind. She’s very suspicious and will see right through flaky people.

RELATED: 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer (As Written By A Cancer)


 

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

Aquarius is a very independent person and wholly believes in bailing yourself out, no matter what the situation is. Of course, things aren’t always as easy as that and just like everyone else, there’s going to be a time in her life when she does need to ask for help.

But if she thinks you can handle getting out of jail on your own, she isn’t going to jump at the chance to help you … nothing personal.

The only reason she considers bailing you out of jail is if she knows it isn’t your fault. If you did something dumb and got caught, that’s on you. But if you were with a group of people who ditched you or threw you under the bus, she understands.

Aquarius isn’t totally cold-hearted, she just understands the value of relying on yourself; especially because there isn’t always going to be someone around to bail you out.

RELATED: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius (As Written By One)


 

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

Aries has a similar way of thinking – about how people aren’t always going to be there to bail you out — but her explanation for not wanting to bail you out when you’re in jail is a bit different.

Aries takes care of Aries; always has, always will. It’s not that she’s selfish or doesn’t believe in helping out her friends, but she does believe that you need to be responsible for yourself.

If you can’t take care of yourself, do you really think you should be doing things that’ll land you in jail? Exactly. So take a page from Aries’ book and know how to have a good time WITHOUT your night ending in disaster.

So when Aries tells you that she can’t bail you out of jail, it’s because she doesn’t have the time to deal with someone else’s problems on top of her own. Harsh, but true!

RELATED: 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries (As Written By An Aries)


 

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)

Taurus is always cranky and stubborn, so it should be no surprise that she wouldn’t want to bail you out of jail.

Sure, she cares about her friends and wants them to be there for her when she needs help, but you really do have to catch her in a good mood for her to want to do anything for you.

If you wake her up in the middle of the night, yell at her to just get her booty down to the station, or anything in between, she won’t help.

When a friend asks Taurus to bail them out of jail, the first place her mind goes to is wondering if said friend has done anything either really positive or really negative for her.

It’s almost as if she’s weighing how important the friend is at that moment, which is shallow, but most definitely a Taurus-like thing to do. It’s better to let her go through this thought process instead of making her crankier with your request.

RELATED: 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus (As Written By A Taurus)


 

LEO (July 23 - Aug 22)

It’s very rare that Leo would bail you out of jail because there are so many other places she can be where those people aren’t stuck in jail for the night.

If she even answers her phone in the first place, chances are that she’ll make up some excuse as to why she’s too busy. The reality is that she’s probably on her couch watching her favorite movie and waiting for her nail polish to dry.

Leo is also known for being flaky, so just because she says she’ll bail you out, you might just end up spending the night in jail. One text about a party downtown with free drinks and she’s definitely going there, not to get you.

Anything that doesn’t involve fun, free booze, or partying is more of an inconvenience than anything. She wants to be there for her friends, but she often thinks of herself first.

RELATED: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo (As Written By A Leo)


 

Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a book in the future.

 

 

 

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