Sometimes Divorce Is The BEST Way To Teach Kids That Fairytale Love Is Real

Heartbreak

Debunking the two main reasons people stay in bad marriages.

Ok, ladies — there's something we need to clear up when it comes to divorce: Life does not end just because your marriage does.

I know it may be hard to believe, but it is 100% true.

Too often, we believe that ending a marriage means giving up living a fairytale of our own. After all, Cinderella didn't get a divorce. She got to live happily-ever-after.

But even Cinderella's happy ending is a myth we've been led to believe.

Psychologist and relationship advisor Dr. Jennelle sums it up perfectly in our latest Ask an Expert video when she reframes the entire fairytale analogy:

"Maybe divorce sometimes doesn't have to mean the end of a fairytale —  but the start of a different one."

Sometimes, divorce IS the right thing — even the best thing — for you and your family.

Think about why it is you would push yourself to stay trapped in an unhappy marriage. What forces keep you stuck where you know you don't be long? Here are two common answers:

1. For the happiness of your family, which you place above your own.

In some ways yes, you are responsible for making your family happy.

But the BEST way to do it is to teach them the most valuable lesson of all: choose a happy life for yourself.

If they grow up watching you set aside your own happiness, they will learn to do the same — and nobody wants that.

2. For the sake of your children.

Divorce will be challenging for your children. There's no sense pretending otherwise.

But science has shown that divorce isn't as bad for children as you think. 

On top of that, one study polled children of divorce about whether they think parents should stay together for the sake of the kids. 

A whopping 82% of those kids said no, the parents should not stay together simply for the children.

There will be an adjustment period which will bring its own set of challenges, but your children growing up in an environment filled with tension and underlying hostility can be just as bad for their development and overall well-being.

Feeling unfulfilled in your marriage and being unable to muster excitement when you're with your spouse is NOT the answer.

It only leads to growing resentment which will make it impossible to be a good wife and a good parent.

So your happily-ever-after might be very different from the one you thought you were going to have. But it can lead to things more wonderful than you could've imagined.

You just have to give it a chance!

If you need help getting started on the divorce process, getting your family through it in one piece or any other relationship or divorce problem, reach out to Dr. Jennelle. She's here to help!

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