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You don't have to be alone forever.
By David Glass — Written on Nov 20, 2021
While there are people out there who find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship, there are others who haven't been in a relationship for years.
If you're wondering why you're single, you might want to take a look at the reasons below.
Then, you can use them to stop doubting yourself and start searching for a stable relationship.
1. You're too much of a perfectionist.
Sometimes, people are too perfectionistic when they are looking for a mate. They reject anyone who has even a small flaw or who doesn't perfectly match their list of what they are looking for in a future spouse.
This single person needs to realize that nobody is perfect, and we rarely find anyone who meets all of our requirements.
They just need to try out different types of people with a more open mind. This person might also benefit from some self-analysis and reflection to learn what his or her imperfections are.
2. You have low self-esteem.
This kind of perpetually single person does not feel good about him/herself and therefore won't open him/herself up to the kind of soulful sharing that is necessary for a spouse. This person needs therapy to learn how to feel good about him/herself and to figure out how to trust their own feelings.
Until this person even likes him or herself, there is no way that they are going to find someone to love them or to trust that they can fully love the other.
3. You're afraid of what commitment will mean.
They enjoy dating and enjoy the almost endless variety of people they can meet.
Deep down, they are probably afraid of giving up the next good person that they might meet. Even when they find someone who might make a fantastic mate, they may think, “But what about the next person I meet?”
This forever-single needs to learn that there probably is not one perfect true love for anyone; that each of us probably has multiple great spouses out there. We just need to find one of them and commit to receiving the almost unending benefits that a good marriage can bring you.
4. You think changing yourself will help you fit in.
This method simply doesn’t have merit and is one of the top reasons why you're single. There is no way that a person who is completely faking it to seem like they are just like their potential mate can keep up that charade.
And, even if they manage to for long enough to become engaged or even married, it is highly unlikely that this will form the basis for a long, satisfying marriage. Instead, this fake persona will likely lead to a relatively rapid divorce.
5. You're simply too uninteresting.
They don’t have hobbies. They don’t have interests. They don’t have things about which they feel passionate. Oddly enough, of the five different types discussed here, this is the easiest to fix. Get out! Enjoy life. Try different things.
Find something you love doing. Odds are, while you are doing that thing you now love, you will find someone else also doing the same thing, and soon, maybe you can begin loving doing that thing together.
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David J. Glass is a former therapist and now a family law attorney. He has been a frequent guest on various radio programs including KABC in L.A. and Starcom Radio.