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No matter what gender you are.
By Slutty Girl Problems — Written on Sep 13, 2017
Many women who identify their sexual orientation as heterosexual feel like they aren’t "totally straight" all the time. Sometimes, they find that they have an interest in people other than men, and who can blame them, right?
Women are beautiful, compassionate creatures. Plus, our genitals look more like flowers than sad sea creatures (thank you, Georgia O’Keeffe).
When you're new to the giving sexual pleasure to a female other than yourself (or if you're an experienced man or woman who wants to get better at what you've already been doing), it's extremely helpful to get some ideas, tips, and tricks from an old pro at lesbian sex.
So here are 8 offerings of guidance from yours truly:
1. Don’t be intimidated.
Remember that she has the same anatomy as you do. It’s not completely foreign territory, and if you’ve ever masturbated before then you’re probably already a semi-pro at all of this. Confidence is sexy, so if she intimidates you but you want to take charge, just fake it till you make it.
2. Practice makes perfect.
You have the perfect test dummy. Psst, it’s yourself. You can’t go down on yourself, of course, but you can explore manually or with various toys. Search for your own erogenous zones and the chances are that you’ll find hers, too!
3. Start slow.
Anticipation really does make things better, so as things get hot and heavy, make sure that you don’t rush your movements. When you start out slowly and lightly you increase a woman’s arousal (we do need lots of foreplay) and it will make her feel like you’re appreciating her body more instead of just trying to get down to business. Plus this gives you a chance to see what she enjoys and where you need to focus your efforts.
4. Use your hands.
Before things get more intimate and you decide to feel things out with your tongue, you might want to explore her body with your hands.
Tangle your hands in her hair, lightly scratch her skin with your nails, and remember not to rush it. Not only will you be able to sense things she enjoys being touched and the manner in which she prefers to be romanced, but you’ll also be more aware of her comfort level with you. Consent is sexy!
5. Sense what she likes.
This is super important ladies! Tell-tale signs that she enjoys what you’re doing will show through her body language. Her sexual responsiveness to what you’re doing may not be indicated by how wet she is because everyone’s body is stimulated differently, so listen for the speed of her breathing, whether her skin is flushed, and if her heart rate is elevated.
Verbal communication is also super helpful, and can even be a turn on. Try asking her if she likes what you’re doing and/or what she wants you to do next.
6. Go down on her.
Here’s the intimidating bit — using your tongue. It doesn’t have to be so nerve-wracking if you don’t overthink it. Go with your instincts and do what you know you enjoy when you’re in doubt. Make sure that you actually find her clitoris. They can be allusive (just ask my ex), but pay careful attention to it.
Two pretty fool proof ways to stimulate all the nerves that reside right there are by 1) using the flat of your tongue like you do when licking an ice-cream cone and 2) spelling out the ABC’s with your tongue. Keep your tongue lubricated and intensify your pressure and speed based on her reactions.
7. Find her G-spot.
The key to this is to feel around with your fingers for an area on the front vaginal wall about halfway between her cervix and vaginal opening and feels a bit rough. This is the most sensitive part of her vagina. Using your fingers to stroke this spot will increase her arousal. Just jamming your fingers into her vagina won’t necessarily feel good to her, so use this stroking technique, as well as various other movements like twirling or waggling.
Every gal is different, so make sure to take note of what works best for her.
8. Try not to have expectations.
Whether the girl you're with enjoys using toys, getting rough, plain old manual stimulation or all of the above and more, remember that exploring new things and communicating makes for the most intimate and enjoyable sexual experiences. She may not react in the way that you think she will, and that is perfectly fine. Not everyone has the same reactions, even to an orgasm, nor does everyone enjoy the same techniques.
But, using the above tips and tricks and combining these with the knowledge and experience you already have will make being with another girl much easier and hopefully less stressful.
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This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.