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Is he serious, or is he a serious waste of time?
By Ossiana Tepfenhart
Written on Jan 25, 2021
If there is one thing that most women can’t stand, it’s being left in the dark about where they stand with their men.
Most of us who are looking for a committed relationship don’t want to be led on, but the problem is that there are way too many people out there who are totally content to tell girls they “might want commitment later on.”
Wondering how to ask a guy what his intentions are without scaring him away or causing an argument?
Most people out there will wonder, at least once, what’s going on with the state of their relationship.
If you ask your boyfriend these questions, you’ll find out the truth about his intentions once and for all and learn how to know if he's serious about commitment.
10 Questions To Ask To Find Out His Intentions
1. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
If he doesn’t hint at being married, you probably should find out why. This may be an indicator that he’s not interested in keeping you around for the long run.
2. “What are your feelings about long-term relationships? About marriage?”
If you hear him saying LTR’s are great, but saying that marriage is “a scam,” it’s time to bail. He’s not interested in marrying you, and trying to convince him otherwise is not a wise decision.
3. “What are your plans with me? Where do you see us going in the future?”
Sometimes, bluntness is the best route. This is particularly true if you’ve been dating for almost a year without him actually talking about engagement.
If he still skirts the question, you have all the answer you need about his interest in commitment.
4. “How are you feeling about our relationship? Do you feel content as-is, or are you looking for something more?”
If he’s really acting like he’s on the fence, this will give you a better idea of where his mind really is at.
He may even tell you what’s going on with the relationship that’s bothering him and that could actually help you turn things around.
5. “Are you looking for commitment?”
If you’re just starting to date, you might as well know his intentions. Many guys will be honest.
If he says he’s not looking for commitment, you know where you stand.
6. “When do you think someone is ready to get married?”
This is one of those questions that is pretty hard to be subtle about, but if you are slick about how you ask it, it can reveal a lot about his intentions.
If he says a certain age, you should look at whether he’s approaching that age. If he says things that he’s already done but has shown no interest in proposing, you might have reason to be worried.
Either way, this question is a great way to learn how to know if he's serious about commitment.
7. “What’s your number one priority in life?”
A man who isn’t prioritizing relationships of any sort is not a man who will likely want to marry. On the other hand, a man who prioritizes family and friends is often looking for Mrs. Right, too.
Find out what his priorities are, and find out the “why” of it all. In most cases, you’ll find out what he’s really looking for in the follow-up questions to this one.
8. “What do you want out of the relationship we have?”
This is a good question to ask six months in. If he’s just looking for a girl to have flings and fun adventures with, he’s not into marrying you.
On the other hand, if he starts talking about establishing you as family and having you to come home to, it’s a good sign.
9. “Are a lot of your friends coupled up?”
Studies show that men who are surrounded by other bachelors are much less likely to wed than men who are surrounded by couples.
10. “What are you looking for, right now?”
Most men will be skittish about saying they want a short-term fling, but will use euphemisms like “see how things play out.”
They may also waffle and say “maybe a commitment... if it happens.” If they act like this, give them three months to see if he’s worth pursuing. He might be worth it.
If he’s upfront and says that he wants marriage, or if he’s upfront about not wanting marriage, listen to him. It’ll save you a lot of time and tears, I promise.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her on Twitter.