Male Zodiac Signs Who Are The Best Lovers (Ranked From Best To Worst)

After we make all the appropriate and inappropriate comments about what makes a man good in bed, there really are only a few conditions that might take him to the level of “god” when it comes to being a lover. Oh sure, we could talk about the size of his, um... stuff and we can giggle over the length of his fingers and all that, but is that what women (or men) really want? And does your horoscope say the same?

Possibly, yes, but what if he’s got all the right stuff and doesn’t know how to use it? I know that I’ve been with men who are so damned gorgeous and sexy-looking that you’d weep tears of joy over their beauty, but in the long run, where it counts, they were oh so much more about being stunning specimens of manhood rather than considerate lovers.

Are you a considerate lover? Check out the video below to find out how good you are in bed:

While there’s that stereotype that men who are not as universally attractive make better lovers, there is something to it. I’m not saying that you can’t be gorgeous and good in bed simultaneously, but if all you’re bringing to the table (which is a bed) is your prettiness, then move along, buddy. There are two of us (maybe three?) in this sexy party here and we need all hands on deck.

Some men are just naturally conscientious when it comes to doing their part in the bedroom. In fact, for certain men — some whom fall under certain signs of the zodiac, for instance — pleasing their partner is an even greater thrill for them than whatever they can get out of it themselves.

Have you ever had a man propose this idea to you: “Perhaps you’d like me to pleasure you several times a day, followed by massages?” Now that’s the man for me, I tell ya. And this man does exist.

So, who are the best and worst male lovers, according to astrology?

1. LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Yummy Libra. This man gets off on you getting off. No, it’s not because he’s submissive or weak or in need of your love, it’s because the idea of you rolling your eyes back into your head while he’s licking and sucking on you makes him happy.

Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One

2. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Oh, baby baby. You’ll never have a lover as dedicated to being artful in the bed as you’ll have with your Sagittarius man. Naturally eager to please, he will engage in the most daring of sexual encounters. And if there’s anyone you can “tell what to do” you’ll always find the Sag man listening. He’s there for you.

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One

3. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Total sex fiends, these guys are, and if you can get into the whole, “Me Tarzan, you Jane” thing, you might find yourself having a ball and a biscuit with this macho lover. Taurus has your pleasure in mind, and he’s going to feed it to you in perfectly measured doses. That ride’s gonna be a smooth one, lady.

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One

4. CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

Dude loves to engage in all kinds of exciting sexual acts, and they’re pretty damned good at it. Capricorn men like to be your fantasy, as they like to fantasize about you as well. It’s a head trip as well as a physical sensation with these men, and you’ll find yourself wanting to plunge deeper and deeper — and again, and again.

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One

5. GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Oh, they do want to please you. And they will because Gemini men are super conscious of what you want. They don’t want to disappoint you because they want you to walk away (with shaking knees, of course) thinking they’re the best. It means a lot to these men to be thought of as your best sex and they do deliver the goods.

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One

6. SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

You’d think Scorpio would rank at number one, and they certainly do make great lovers, you just have to be into whatever they’re into. If you’re into following their train of thought into whatever dark place they’re headed, then you may find yourself enthralled by what they provide, which is basically unlimited orgasms, until that train leaves the station without you.

Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One

7. PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Sensitive and mysterious, your male Pisces lover is the kind to lavish you with romantic gestures. This is the man who will care enough to make the love-making arena beautiful for you. In the bed, he’s ready to please you and hopes you’ll do the same for him. The downfall is that they become lazy quite soon into the sex and may forget what all the fuss was about.

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One

8. AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

It starts becoming a little more about them than you with these Aquarius lovers. While these men can get very charged up beforehand, once it’s time to actually get some action, you’ll find that the talk that leads to the bedroom was a little more exciting than the actual sex. However, it’s kind of nice to experience sexy talk from these guys, as they’re pretty good at it.

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One

9. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo men could be great if they’d only let go of the pressure they’ll put on you to be... just a little better looking than you are. Yeah, that unfair. They’ve got what it takes to be great lovers, but so much of what gets them off depends on what you look like, which is great if you’re built like a porn star and promise to stay young forever.

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)

10. CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

As we wind on down the road, we may want to consider the male Cancer lover... or not. Let’s put it this way: they’re just not into you. Not for long, that’s for sure. And even if they are, it’s all about them and they can’t even get that excited in that regard either. What makes Cancer lacking in this department is their own lack of interest, which makes sex with them feel more like mercy sex.

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One

11. LEO (July 23 - August 22)

As long as it’s all about how great they are in bed, you should be fine. Even when they’re terrible in bed, you’ll have to lie to them and tell them it’s all good. You’ll be faking orgasms left and right with this mighty Leo beast, just to get the deed done with.

Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One

12. ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

Be prepared to work. It’s all about them. If you must get into bed with an Aries male, then do so knowing ahead of time that the only orgasm they’re interested in is their own, and once they’ve had it, grunts and all, they love a good, long nap. Have fun masturbating.

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One