Photo: weheartit
He's all wrong for you.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Aug 18, 2017
To someone looking at your relationship, everything looks great, but if they were to look at things more closely, they’d see that there are some real troubles right under the surface. And sometimes, even your horoscope cannot predict if you and your partner will stay together.
Is your relationship strong enough to withstand any serious challenges? Is the foundation on which it was built sturdy, or are those cracks and fissures getting worse instead of better? In fact, the smallest provocation could cause your relationship to crack right in two.
It’s hard to know when someone is right for you or when they’re truly the one. There can be all kinds of signs, clues, and red flags but no matter how in your face they are, you can choose to ignore them. Sometimes we don’t want to see the truth, even when it’s presented to us.
Not sure if he's the right guy for you? Check out the video below for the five questions you need to ask yourself:
There are times when rightly or wrongly we just want to be with someone, even if we know that someone is terrible for us. When all your friends are coupled off, you may feel pressured to be in a couple too, even if you know your partner is completely wrong for you.
You might think that he’ll change over time or that you will, and that’s correct because we all grow and change. But the changes that your partner goes through may not be in the direction that you want.
Will you be able to tolerate him if instead of getting to be closer to your ideal, he becomes a more intensified version of him you really didn't care for in the first place? Is a dude in the hand worth more than holding out for someone more suited to you and who is more compatible?
If you’re someone who follows astrology, you may be interested in discovering how to know he's not the one, based on your zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
He bores you and he never seems to want to try or learn anything new. He's stagnating and if you stay with him, you're going to stagnate too. No one saying he has to constantly be active and moving but he should stimulate you, make you excited by life and keep you interested. There are no surprises with him and it's only going to get worse if you don't part ways.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You don't trust him enough to share with him. There's something shady about this guy and you feel it in your gut. You don't know if you'll ever be able to trust him — not financially or emotionally. You don't want a life where you constantly have to monitor yourself, making sure that you don't reveal something that he might take advantage of.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
You don't get along with his friends and family, and he doesn't get along with yours. How's that going to work out in the future? You can both get new friends but you're stuck with who you have for family. Will you always have separate holidays each with their own families or will you just ignore all family members? When you marry someone, you marry them and all the people that are permanent fixtures in their life. If he doesn't love your family and your best friend, how can he love you?
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
He doesn't support you emotionally. You don't want to be with someone who never takes your side in an argument or who thinks you're over-reacting when you get upset. You want someone to listen to you without judgment and some who cares about you and your feelings. This guy would sooner throw you under the bus rather than let you feel what you feel, and that's how to know he's not the one.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
He's ungenerous with everything including his money, his time, and his heart. He rarely pays for anything and when he does it's with a coupon or a discount. You never feel as if spending time with you is any kind of priority for him and when it comes to feelings, he never tells you that he loves you or even cares for you at all. You need somebody who wants to give you flowers just because he's thinking of you or buys you a present because you're feeling down. You don't need someone who makes you feel that having you in his life is akin to having a failing business — something that hemorrhages money.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
He's always trying to make you feel stupid. It's not just that he is constantly mansplaining, he actively searches for ways to prove that something you said was false or that your answer was incorrect. If he needs to make you feel dumb to make himself feel smart, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. His insecurity is only going to grow as you start to reach your full brilliance.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
The truth is you don't like him that much and don't even think of him as a friend. If he would never cut it as one of your friends, then he's not someone you want to have a relationship with. We all go through times where we don't like our significant others but it shouldn't start out that way. Over time, your non-like will turn into dislike and then possibly hate. Get out while you're on the side of indifference.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Sex is a very important element to any relationship but especially yours and the two of you are sexually incompatible. You don't like the same things, he doesn't have the same desire as far as the frequency of sex goes, and the two of you don't connect on a sexual level. Over time, things will get worse and the things that brought you together will be gone and you won't even have good sex to bind you together.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
You have completely different senses of humor. He doesn't get it when you think something is hilarious nor do you get the things that make him roll on the floor laughing. The worst part is that he doesn't laugh at your jokes or think you're funny at all. Seriously, how can you be involved with someone who obviously has a faulty sense of humor? Get out before the joke's on you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
The two of you have opposing core values. What you think is important to living a successful life, he couldn't care less about and you don't understand the importance he puts on things. When your core values are at odds, they will manage to disengage your relationship over time. It's extremely difficult to find a middle ground when you don't care about the same things.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
You don't feel like you can be your real self around him. When you're too afraid to express your true goofy self around him because you feel as if he won't like you, that's a huge problem. Do you plan on presenting this false version of yourself forever? That's exhausting. You need someone that you can be comfortable enough around, not some fake representation of yourself.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
He refuses to choose you. He's so busy seeing other people that he barely makes time to see you. You think that eventually he'll come to his senses and be with only you but I wouldn't hold your breath. You're very patient but he's not worth all the emotional turmoil he's putting you through. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't but this leading you on stuff isn't nice. You need to feel as if he only wants you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One
.......
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.