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It's not easy for anyone to just move on.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Aug 04, 2017
Everyone has their own way of getting over a breakup and it may not be the same way every time. Men, women, trans men, trans women, and anyone regardless of gender is affected by a breakup. And even though your horoscope gives you advice on how to move on, some people may react emotionally as if they've experienced a punch to the gut, while others may appear to be unaffected by the change in their life.
There’s no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup nor is there a time limit. Everyone recovers on their own time.
It could take you a relatively short amount of time or take weeks, months or years. To be honest, there are some people who never get over a breakup. They may function and go on to have other better relationships but they still keep the memory of that failed relationship close to their hearts.
You can’t force yourself to speed up the process of getting over and surviving a breakup; it never works and only makes things worse. If you hurriedly throw yourself into another relationship and don't deal thoroughly with your feelings about the split, it can erode and destroy the new one.
Watch the video below for tips on how to move on from your relationship:
It doesn't matter how one rationalizes or how out of touch with their feelings someone is, they still need to process their breakup in some way. Some people prefer to keep their emotions to themselves while others depend on talking it out with close friends, family or a therapist.
Whatever works for you is good as long as you recognize your post-breakup feelings because burying them deep inside never works. Those buried feelings tend to resurface at the worst times and can cause problems beyond the ones created by the relationship ending.
It can be helpful to get some insight in how our partners get over a broken heart and astrology can give us a window into understanding their behavior. Here are the zodiac signs that are the most resilient when it comes to getting over a relationship.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
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He does things that his ex wasn't into. Maybe they thought it was too risky or too childish but now that the relationship is over, he's going to revel in that behavior. It can be anything from zip-lining to drinking himself blind on a weeknight. He's like a kid acting out and he's going to do whatever he wants to do out of spite. When they were together, he had kept his vices in check but now the breakup has opened the door for him to fully indulge in all the things his ex wasn't down for.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
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He gets over a bad breakup by getting in touch with all the people and exes that he lost touch with while he was ensconced in the relationship. Is he using other people to help alleviate his pain? Yes, and he's not being fair to give his other exes hope that they can rekindle things. He's too emotionally wrought right now to start anything; he's just looking for some kind of interpersonal, emotional comfort.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
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He gets into party mode and tries to get as drunk as possible, and often. He wants to share his feelings and thoughts about what he's going through but he needs to get inebriated first. He believes without lubrication, there can be no healing. Besides, if he gets overly emotional or reveals too much he can blame it on being intoxicated and not because he has a broken heart.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
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He's going to talk about his feelings with almost anybody who'll listen. He may go to a therapist or a religious person that he trusts, he'll talk to friends and family members. He's going to process the whole thing in the best way that he can which is by expressing his emotions and relying on the compassion and empathy of others.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
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He's going to update his wardrobe by buying new clothes and throwing out as many shirts, shorts, pants, and suits as possible. Looking good means a lot to him and knowing that his ex is missing out on him looking so fine helps. He doesn't want any reminders of his ex, so anything that she complimented him on or borrowed, he wants it gone. He's starting a new stage in his life and he needs to look good, making him one of the zodiac signs that are the most resilient.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
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He's going to make a conscious effort to stop all the broken heart negative thinking. He's known for being able to fix things but his relationship was something that he couldn't fix, so rather than go over everything in excruciating detail, he's going to try to let it go or put a positive spin on it. He wasn't self-centered, he was trying to be the best version of himself that he could be. He knows if starts thinking about what went wrong and what he should have done differently, he'll dive down into a hole of self-loathing that will be practically impossible to get out of.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
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He's going to make himself get out more, even if it's just to the movies or to the Farmer's Market. The problem is that in many ways his ex will be there with him as he'll be constantly thinking if they would like something or what they'd do in the situation. When nobody is looking, he'll be searching for his ex and scanning the crowd to see if they're there. He wants to see his ex but at the same time, he doesn't.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
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Since it's practically impossible for a Scorpio to forgive and forget, you can bet that their post-breakup behavior is going to include plenty of cyberstalking — Facebook stalking in particular. They'd prefer it if their ex looked miserable but when their ex posts on Instagram of the fun places they've been, he'll make a note of it and go there too. He doesn't want to run into his ex but he wants to still feel some connection, even if it's a shared location at a different time.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
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He's going to keep moving. If he can work it out, he'll travel going to new places that he didn't go with his ex so that there are no lingering memories and if he can't travel right away, he'll keep himself busy and look for places he's never been where he lives. He wants to create a new landscape of his life that doesn't have any memories connected to it.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
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He's going to start going to the gym more regularly. After getting his heart broken he turned to food and drink and put some weight on. Now he feels even more miserable so he's determined to work it off. His secret plan is to get so ripped that she'll wish she'd never ended things in the first place. He also likes being so exhausted that he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and doesn't stay up half the night mourning the death of his relationship.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
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He wishes the best for his ex though sometimes he amuses himself by thinking that his ex's new boyfriend is shallow, stupid, and has no game whatsoever. He'll try to avoid wallowing in the pain and try to use that energy in humanitarian efforts. When he's working on a project, he doesn't have to acknowledge the pain and by surrounding himself with new people who stimulate him, he can heal.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
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He puts his pain to work and uses it as an impetus to create. He may not be comfortable in saying what he wants to say so he'll channel it into a character or a work of art. Heartbreak is his muse and the more he can lean into what he's feeling the more intense the emotion of his artwork. He feels grateful for the broken heart, convinced it makes his art deeper and more passionate.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One
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Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.