15 Signs That Instantly Tell You He's A Cheater (Before You Even Date Him)

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Can you spot a cheater by looking at him?
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Can you spot a cheater by looking at him?

A leopard never changes his spots, and serial cheaters really don’t, either. I’ve been around the block more than once, and over the years, I’ve learned how to spot men who are cheaters, liars, and playboys before they actually go on a date with me.

The reason why it’s become easy for me to figure out who’s a serial cheater is that being a cheater tends to change you. Whether guys and girls realize it or not, their habits, mentality, and lifestyle all have a tendency of reflecting the fact that they are prone to cheating.


Here are some of the biggest signs he's a cheater, probably won’t stay loyal, and why you should end things before they start.

1. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship, but he does want a “female friend”  and he has tons of “female friends.”

We all know what those “female friends” really are, especially if he’s a “natural flirt” of a person. They aren’t “female friends” as much as they are potential sex partners. Obviously, there are guys out there who are loyal but have a lot of girls who are just friends with them, but I’m not talking about them. These guys go out of their way to flaunt the number of women they talk to.

On the other hand, good guys who have lots of legit female friends don’t make a point of going out of their way to befriend them or mention how the friends are female.

2. If you’ve been hanging out with him for a while, girls who are his “friends” start pulling out the claws.

This was something that I learned from one of my ex-fiancés. He was always surrounded by women, but the minute things involved me, the “friends” he was around made a point of being icy or even downright cruel to me. Girls don’t get that territorial without reason, I’ve learned.

Years after the fact, I found out he was cheating on me with around six of them. Additionally, if he doesn’t stand up for you, that’s often a sign that he is either enjoying the arguments or that he’s afraid to admit that both girls are his significant others.

3. He keeps you away from his friends.

Separation from his actual life outside of the relationship is often one of the key signs he's a cheater and is looking for another woman. After all, if he wasn’t a cheater, he’d have nothing to hide by bringing you around his people.

4. When you ask him for his full name or his primary phone number, he refuses.

This is never, ever a good sign! If he only will talk to you using a booster phone or a company phone, it’s a sign that he has a wife at home. If he won’t even tell you his full, real name, then it’s because he’s trying to make sure that you can’t hunt him down and spill the beans to his wife.

5. He really puts in a lot of effort into being a “pretty boy.”

Sure, there might be some guys who put in effort into looking good for their own sake, but I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about men who literally take over an hour to get ready for a night out, and about the guys who actually stage photo shoots for their social media without being a model, a personal trainer, or a celebrity.

From what I’ve personally seen, men who are putting in that much effort into their looks tend to be the ones who do so in order to attract multiple women.

6. You notice a tan line on his ring finger or you notice he’s hiding his ring finger from you when he’s chatting you up.

This is a classic sign that he’s already married and that he’s looking for a side piece. Don’t fall for this lame ploy.

7. People have approached you to warn you about him.

Generally speaking, if people warn you about a potential date, you should listen to them. This is especially true if several of his exes come to you to warn you about going out with him.

8. He’s got a machismo problem.

A man who is insecure in his masculinity will typically do anything possible to sleep with as many women as he can. I say this from personal experience; guys who don’t feel like men will take it out on women. The most common ways they do that is by cheating on them and treating them like dirt. As a result, macho men are terrible partners.

9. He’s got multiple baby mamas and supports none of his kids.

If he’s this kind of guy, you already should know that he’s a scumbag. Guys who do this are people who often will cheat with no remorse and should never be dated under any circumstances. After all, he could betray and abandon his own blood. People who do this don’t change, and that means you shouldn’t expect him to treat you any better than others he’s been with.

10. His online dating profile was filled with sexual innuendos.

Nothing about an overly sexual dating profile suggests fidelity, not even the text saying that he’s single. If you’re looking for cheap sex, then go for it, but understand that this guy will probably never be faithful to you.

11. He oozes douchebag vibes.

Speaking from what I’ve noticed about mega-douches, large amounts of douchebag vibes tends to be a sign that they either are narcissists, insecure-ridden disasters, or players, or all of the above. Either way, avoiding guys who give a slimy, scummy vibe is a good idea regardless.

12. You notice that he’s using hackneyed pickup artist techniques on you.

Is he negging you? Is he using a canned line to try to get you to talk to him? If you notice that he’s using what I call “black hat” pickup artist techniques, I got news for you: he’s trying to be a player. Men who use the more damaging and hurtful techniques in pickup artistry aren’t learning pickup with hopes of finding love; they’re using those techniques to find sex.

Speaking as someone who’s researched this stuff and been active in the PUA scene, guys who neg typically do not care about women and aren’t faithful to them, and they wear that attitude like a badge of honor.

13. His texting runs hot and cold.

Guys who do this often act this way because they are juggling multiple women or due to disinterest. On a similar note, he might schedule your first date on an awkward night or bail on the last minute.

14. He’s obsessed with the “swag” lifestyle.

Does he feel the need to flash cash, wear the right clothes, and refer to women as “10s”? Well, when he does this, he’s marketing himself as a player. Might as well believe him.

15. He openly admits he’s taken.

If he’s taken and is asking you on a date, do you really need any more proof that he’s disloyal?

 

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.

 

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