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Don't you worry, it'll be just fine...
By Slutty Girl Problems — Written on Jul 26, 2017
There are few things more disappointing than getting into the bedroom, heating things up with foreplay, and then as soon as he enters you... he's finished. There's pretty much nothing more unsatisfying than that for a woman, especially when things have been building up all night on the path towards what seemed like some blissful sex.
But it doesn't have to be the end of the world when a guy experiences premature ejaculation.
Here’s how to handle it so you both still have an amazing sexual experience.
1. Don't make him feel bad about himself.
As soon as he has his orgasm, he'll most likely apologize and/or feel embarrassed. It’s important that you don't judge him for finishing too quickly, so reassure him you are totally cool with it. Even though it might be a let down for you because you didn’t have an orgasm (yet!), there’s nothing more to be done about it in the moment. He's done. It happened. And it’s time to figure out what to do next.
Some guys get nervous before sex and the buildup of anxiety, excitement and physical intimacy can be a recipe for instant ejaculation. He can’t control it, and if you make a big deal out of it, he’ll only be more anxious the next time you have sex.
Make him feel comfortable by telling him you completely understand. He’s normal and needs to hear that he’s normal and you don’t think he’s a loser.
Besides, most guys will ask how they can make it up to you after they finish early... (and if they don’t, you need to have a talk with them about being selfish lovers).
2. Keep in mind that your best AND worst options are still pretty good!
Best case scenario: you take a break knowing he'll be ready for round two soon. Worst case scenario: he just can’t get hard again, no matter what you do.
But there’s still more you both can do!
If he can have penetrative sex again, wait a while before you go right into it. Orgasms are tiring, and if you want to orgasm, too, he needs to be energized enough to please you. You can relax and talk or slowly build the heat back up again with foreplay. When he enters you the next time, he most likely won’t orgasm immediately.
If he can’t have sex again (which happens!) this is a great time to incorporate oral sex.
Ask him to him start by teasing your erogenous zones — most commonly your lips, neck, nipples, clitoris, and inner thighs. Encourage him to touch, kiss, and lick all of you before he focuses in on going down on you.
And remember that you don’t need internal pleasure to have an intense orgasm. Some women even prefer the orgasms they experience from receiving oral sex.
And sometimes once he starts performing oral sex on you, he may even surprise you both by becoming aroused enough to have penetrative sex again!
3. Never make YOU feel bad about yourself.
If a guy finished early, it says nothing negative about you. If anything, it means you were too hot to handle!
There are multiple reasons a guy may experience premature ejaculation at any given time. Maybe there are certain positions he’s prone to orgasming in. Knowing this can also be handy for when you want to get him off. Or maybe he’s still getting comfortable having sex with you and was too nervous.
Whatever the dilemma, it’s totally normal for all guys to occasionally experience this issue.
This means that almost all women will have a sexual encounter with a guy who finishes first at some point.
So remember to be sympathetic. You wouldn’t want someone making fun of you for something you couldn’t control, and neither does he.
And if you handle it well, he might just work even harder to take care of you, too.
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This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.
