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If you think you're being all cute and a man isn't into it, here's why.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on Jul 11, 2023
One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is how often men and women tend to assume things about the opposite sex. It’s something we’ve all been guilty of at one point or another, especially when it comes to likes and dislikes.
At times, the misunderstandings we have about what the opposite sex wants can lead to hilarious, TV sitcom-style dates that end up being something we can laugh about later on. Other times, they can lead to you staying involuntarily single for a very long time.
Ever wonder what you’re doing wrong when it comes to attracting guys? I know I do, and that’s why I often ask my guy friends my most pressing questions about what men think and want.
Like with many of my other chats, my male friends had a lot to say.
Below is a list of qualities and behaviors women think men like, but that guys actually say they hate.
Listen up, ladies, because these things are not sexy at all to men.
Here are 12 things women think guys like, but are actually huge turn-offs:
1. Vocal fry
That strange creakiness at the end of words was considered to be super sexy a couple of years back, but the truth is that guys can’t stand it.
It sounds unnatural coming from most girls, which in turn makes guys feel like they’re talking to a disingenuine person.
2. Having a model-style body
Yes, guys do like this; however, they don’t often want to settle down with girls who are too good-looking. They often believe that they’re setting themselves up to get cheated on, or worse, setting themselves up for rejection.
The end effect is that they might be okay with a fling with a girl who’s way better looking than they are, but not with a relationship. As hard as it is to believe, this has actually been backed by science and statistics.
3. Being dumb
I can’t understand why girls think guys want them to play dumb. Most guys find girls who are dumb to be pretty terrible, especially for long-term relationships.
If you want to get into a relationship, stupidity isn’t what you should be trying to flaunt.
4. Having childlike tantrums
I have personally seen women who claimed that literally stomping your feet and pouting would make men melt. No, this doesn’t really work. At all.
The girls I’ve seen who believe this are still single. (Shocking, I know.)
5. Overly plumped lips
There’s this weird trend where girls are getting crazy large quantities of lip injections to give them a “Kylie Jenner pout.”
Of all the things women think men like but actually hate, this one takes the cake. This isn’t as attractive to men as girls believe it to be. It often ends up looking fake and causes women to get perma-duckface.
6. Being purposefully trashy
A lot of girls think that being trashy and sleazy will get men to be interested. This is true, assuming that you’re looking for hookups.
This is because it makes you seem way more open to sex. However, most guys will cite trashy clothing and behavior as a major turn-off when they are trying to find a wife.
7. The Damsel In Distress ploy
It may have worked for the Disney princesses, but in reality, most men can’t stand seeing a girl who can’t take care of herself. Having to take care of another adult is exhausting, and it makes you lose respect for them quickly.
The only men who do go for girls who pull this are not men who are capable of a healthy relationship, so don’t do it.
8. Doormatting
Do you find yourself agreeing to things you shouldn’t agree to, just in hopes that men will like you? Do you let things slide that you know make you feel uncomfortable? This is called doormatting and it’s not appealing. In fact, it turns everyone off, since everyone wants a partner with a spine of their own.
9. Being quirky-not-quirk
Thanks to the movie industry, a lot of girls think that guys dig girls who are “quirky” while still maintaining that Zooey Deschanel vibe. To a point, this is true. However, most of the time, the guys it attracts are not good bachelors in the least and tend to see you as their own Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Well-adjusted men don’t like girls who can’t be themselves, either, and this kind of act quickly becomes obviously fake. It’s way better to just be yourself, even if you’re as normal as they come.
10. Acting like a diva
A lot of dating guides make it sound like diva behavior is the best way to grab a guy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While you should be assertive, being demanding and unrealistic isn’t attractive to any man.
11. Using a baby voice
You may think guys see it as cute, but they don’t. At all. Most of them think it’s just really annoying. (Sorry.)
12. Pretending to be someone you aren't
A lot of girls will do this just so they can date the guy they want to date. However, when guys start to realize that you’re not who you claim to be, they end up getting very turned off and feeling duped. Don’t do this unless you’re looking for heartbreak and resentment in the future!
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.