How To Help Your Man Have An Orgasm When It Seems Impossible

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He can do it!

When a woman doesn't have an orgasm, the world shrugs. It's hard for women to have one anyway, so if she doesn't have one, she doesn't have one.

But when a man doesn't have an orgasm, it's a shock, it's unheard of! Men are basically just walking boners. Clearly, if they can't finish, something is seriously wrong.

That is not always the case, but many men suffering from their inability to cum never find that out because they are too embarrassed to ask anyone for help. 

That's where the plucky girlfriend comes in! 


Related: 5 'Golden' Sex Rules To Make You Orgasm EVERY Freakin' Time
 

There are many different reasons why your man can't orgasm, and let me be the first to tell you that this is not your problem to solve. 

Many times if you decide to get involved and help your guy out, you might wind up making him feel even more insecure and more worried about the problems with his penis than he was already.

That said, if your man can't finish, there are ways you can help him, even if it's just passing on some information. 

To that end, I've gathered information about what you and your boyfriend can do if he is having a problem with orgasms. Hopefully, they will get you sorted out and ready to ride once more!

If you're wondering why you man can't orgasm, consider these 6 things that are important for your man to know: 
 

1. Do your homework.

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If the two of you are going to tackle his problem together, then you need a clear picture of what that problem even is. 

If he doesn't want to hash it out with you, you should at least encourage him to try and figure out if this is a new problem or not. 

If it's new, when did it start? Has anything like this ever happened to him before? When did he begin to notice the changes?

Very often this kind of background research can help identify the cause of his issues, and the problem stops there.

Also, a lot of men can fail to orgasm once and jump immediately in panic at the notion that they can't ever cum again. 

Not cumming once doesn't mean he has a problem during sex. It means he is a person with a body, and sometimes it just isn't working out. 

 

2. Check out how you masturbate.

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Masturbation can definitely be a factor if he's having a hard time getting it up and keeping it up when he's with you.

Masturbation is amazing. It's relaxing. It feels good — never stop masturbating! But maybe vary your routine.

Most of us (men especially) tend to masturbate the exact same way every time we go at it. 

By doing this, you are training your body to only be able to have an orgasm in one very specific (and very solitary) way. 

That's why news toys, lubes, techniques, and holds are important factors when it comes to making sure your masturbatory life doesn't interfere with your sex life. 

 

3. Talk to your doctor. 

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Sometimes the issues your partner has during sex are something that he can solve on his own. Other times, medical intervention is a good call. 

I get it; talking to your doctor about boner problems when there are people dealing with like, cancer and Zika and shit seems selfish, but it isn't. 

Your sexual health MATTERS. You have a right to get the help you need. 

Besides, sometimes orgasming problems in men can be signs of serious underlying conditions like anxiety, depression, thyroid disorders, hormonal disorders, or even issues with your entire nervous system. 

 

4. Do an emotional check-in.

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According to Occam's Razor, the simplest answer is often the correct one.

While the penis is its own organ, it is connected to the brain, and the brain is where we process our feelings and emotions. 

To that end, it's no surprise that emotional factors can make a man unable to orgasm.

Did he experience trauma in childhood? Is he religious and has complicated feelings regarding sex? Did the two of you have a fight? Is your relationship at a crossroads?

This is the kind of work he needs to do on his own or with a counselor so he has the freedom to breakdown his feelings. 

It could be that once he unlocks the key to what's making orgasms difficult for him, he will be able to start having them again. 

 

5. Stop being a party animal. 

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This is the least cool stuff I'll say all day, so let me just blast through it.

All the stuff that we like to indulge in can make it hard for a penis to get, well, hard. 

Booze, recreational drugs, smoking, too much dairy, too much meat — all wonderful, wonderful vices, but all can really put a damper on the ol' sex-having parts.

Cut back on those things, get to bed early, maybe go for a job and stop trolling for girls half your age at the bar and you might find that you are rewarding with a penis that is performing just like it did back in the day. 

Your penis will become Phil Collins, but like, before the head injury. 

 

Related: 9 Easy Exercises For The Best Orgasm EVER

 

6. Talk about what you need in bed. 

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Look, even if you are in a loving and committed relationship, it can be difficult to talk about what you need in bed when it comes to sex. 

If watching porn with your partner would turn you on, ask them to do that with you! Do you want her to tweak your nipples in a very specific way? Ask her!
 

We don't often talk about sex as a conversation, but that's what it is: a dialogue between two bodies. There's no reason if your bodies are already involved that your mouth and the words they can speak shouldn't get in there, too!