8 Subtle Hints His Parents Give That Say Your Relationship WON'T Work Out

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guy's relationship with his parents
Family, Love

Are you dating him or are you dating his parents?

It’s a common piece of advice that if you want to see what your partner will look like in 50 years, take a look at how well their parents have aged. But if you want to see your more immediate future, say, how long your relationship will last, you also better take a guy's relationship with his parents into account.

If you don’t notice the signs early, you might end up in a majorly frustrating relationship that you wish you’d bailed on sooner.

1. Mom still desperately clings to him.

He may not be a mama’s boy, but that doesn't mean that she’s stopped clinging to him. One of the biggest relationship ruiners is an overly attached mom who competes with you for her son’s attention. If she’s calling him nonstop and complains when you two spend too much time together, she’s trying to be the only woman in his life. Creepy, but true. Run fast.

2. They make you uncomfortable every time you see each other.

It’s natural to feel awkward and uncomfortable the first few times you visit with his parents. But if this feeling persists for several months, it may not ever dissipate. Remember, when you’re thinking about a long-term relationship with someone, you also have to factor in that his parents will never be too far away. You want a family that will welcome you.

3. They judge your personal lifestyle.

The first meeting is always the hardest. You’re all trying to size each other up to see what the other person has up their sleeve. It’s probably more intense than a mafia sit down or a Mexican standoff. But a huge red flag you need to be on the lookout for is what his parents think about your lifestyle.

Are they judgmental of your career choice? Of your tattoos or piercings? If they are, it will at the very least be difficult to change their minds, if not entirely impossible. You know what they say about old dogs...

4. They constantly compare you to his previous girlfriend(s).

It’s a nice compliment if they compare you to his previous girlfriends in a positive way, as in, "Oh my god you’re SO much better for him than she was." But if his parents keep referring to his past dates in a way that implies they miss having them around, it’s code for "We hate you." Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. If that doesn't work, adios!

5. They still dote on him even though he’s 30.

There’s nothing wrong with a guy's relationship with his parents involving showing their affection and support for their child, no matter how old they are. But some parents take it too far.

If he’s a grown man and he’s constantly receiving help from his parents, that says a lot about both his parents and himself. He still depends on them, even if he makes his own living, and they still baby him, which means everyone is emotionally immature. Exit stage right!

6. The family dynamic is extremely unstable.

This is the most obvious and treacherous "Can I get a hell no" sign of them all. No one’s family is perfect, but if his father is an angry jerk or his mother is a drunk, those are ALL CAPS signs that entering into this family will be extremely emotionally taxing and turbulent. If his parents consistently have fights and problems, it will seep into your relationship like a toxin. Be sure of it.

7. You feel like you’re dating him AND his family.

Even if you live in your own place with your man, you find it hard to get some alone time. His parents are always popping in whenever they please and as far as they’re concerned, that’s totally normal. But for you, it’s way too much. Stop and ask yourself who it is you're dating, because the answer might be "his parents."

8. They meddle.

Ideally, in a guy's relationship with his parents, there is family time and then there is couple’s time and those two parts of your life have nice, solid boundaries. But in some cases, his parents will feel like once you’ve met, they can text you and call you all they want to talk about their son and how he’s doing.

They want you to make sure he doesn't get too exhausted from his work week. They want you to encourage him to join the country club. It’s grade-A annoying.

You might not ever find the perfect guy with the perfect family, but whatever you do, make sure his parents aren’t any type of extreme, or you’re going to have a bad time and a bad breakup; or worse, you’ll be stuck with them forever!

 

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