12 Men Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Broke Up With A Woman

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"I broke up with her the day before her birthday, just so I wouldn't have to give her a gift."

Ever meet a guy and think you just click, and then one day you never hear from him again? Chances are you may have just unknowingly turned him off by being yourself. Through no fault of your own, some men are just petty.

While pettiness is subjective, it has managed to infiltrate our dating norms to where it is not okay to be yourself or get comfortable.

Here's why guys break up with women in such petty ways — and some will blow your mind. While some we kind of get, others make no sense to us at all. They may judge you for how sloppy your bathroom is, what you order at dinner, or just because you are kind of (sorry) annoying.

But, hey, we can be pretty petty too, so no judgments here. This is what men had to say.

1. It was exercise just getting to her apartment.

"She lived in a 5th-floor walk-up. If she lived on the second floor, I would have married her."

2. She was really messy when she brushed her teeth.

"I broke up with a girl because she was extremely messy when brushing her teeth. Toothpaste lather all over her mouth like a rabid dog and spitting all over the sink like a damn sprinkler."

3. She didn't eat seafood.

"She loved to go to Red Lobster but hated shellfish. She loved the salads. See ya!"

4. She wasn't a huge Star Trek fan.

"I'm a huge Star Trek fan, so when I first met this girl at a party I told her she looked like Deanna Troi from the series. And she said, 'Captain, I'm sensing something between us!' She said it in Deanna Troi's accent and everything. She called me 'Captain' from then on and when I first held her hand she said, 'RED ALERT!' Our first kiss was followed with an enthusiastic 'Engage!' Then a few days later I invited her to my place and we literally Netflixed and chilled on a Star Trek marathon and passed out on the couch. When I woke up the next morning, you can imagine my shock when I heard the shower running and this girl singing, 'I'm Chilly Willy the penguin, I shake until I'm blue! My head is hot and my feet are cold, Ha! Hee! Achoo!' ...This happened YEARS ago and it still gives me the 'chills' just thinking about it."

5. She played dumb.

"There are plenty of reasons why guys break up. But in my case, she said she didn't know what cultural diffusion was, despite being a Harvard graduate so I assumed she really did know what it was but was pretending not to know what it was to test me to see if I knew what it was."

6. I was too cheap to buy her a present.

"I broke up with her the day before her birthday, just so I wouldn't have to give her a gift."

7. She never gave me blowjobs.

"Oral sex was a one-way street and I was the only one driving."

8. She chewed really loudly.

"While on a date with the woman, I couldn’t stop staring at the sight of her chewing. There is thorough, then there’s puree. She was a messy eater, leaving food all over her mouth when she chewed. Bite, wipe, chew, repeat. This was the last straw — one loud, chewing, sloppy straw."

9. She farted really loud.

"I was fast asleep at the home of this woman I was seeing. She farted so loud in the bathroom, it woke me up out of my sleep. I called my boy to come pick me up while I was getting dressed. I left her there. Never spoke to her ever again."

10. Her laugh was incredibly obnoxious.

"I was getting to know this woman. She was cool but listening to her laugh was like hearing nails on the chalkboard. I had to end things right there."

11. She was a vegetarian.

"We dated for almost 2 months, but we would only go out for drinks and sex. Then one night I invited her for dinner at a Koren BBQ place and when we got to the restaurant she mentioned she was a vegetarian. (She never mentioned it before.) She said she could always find something else to eat, but not at this particular place, so we left. I had to break up with her pretty much the next time."

12. She didn't show up to a play I was in.

"The straw that broke the camel's back was bailing on seeing a play I was in at the last minute. I could have handled the inarticulate sex, coolness towards waiters and inability to offer to split a check, but that one last thing was somewhat personal to me and that was a wrap."

 

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