What It Means To Have A Gay Dream When You're Straight

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When I was 14, I had a particularly vivid dream about Helen Hunt. I know, just go with me on this. 

In the dream, she was teaching me how to play the piano (an instrument I have inexplicably always found to be very sexy, probably because of that one scene in Pretty Woman) and when I performed well, she leaned over and gave me a kiss.

I woke up in terror. "Rebecca, you just had a gay sex dream when you're straight, what the hell does it mean?"

Because I am who I am, I told my mom, in a stone-cold panic that one gay sex dream had turned me overnight into a lesbian, to say nothing of how my appreciation for Mad About You would be affected. 

My mom, being of sound mind and body, just rolled her eyes and told me to stop eating so many weird midnight snacks and worrying about my sexual orientation. She had a point, my friends, she had a point.

 

Related: Will I Be A Bad Gay Lover? 5 Fears About Coming Out

 

Because dreams aren't reality, and while it can be disconcerting to have a dream that flies in the face of how you know yourself to be, that doesn't mean you're secretly gay. 

There are many different things that it can mean to have a gay sex dream when you're straight, and I'm here to give you all the skinny on the secrets your brain is trying to share with you. 

 

1. It doesn't mean you're gay. 

It is really, really easy to let our dreams have us convinced that the fact that we made out with the woman who does our hair means that we are secret lesbians, but that's not the case.

So if you dreamed you made out with your own sister and are seeking psychological counseling, tap the brakes: the reason we have such intense feelings about dreams where we have a gay sex encounter is because the FEELINGS in dreams are real. 

You might not have locked lips with the nun who taught you Latin, but it feels like you did, and that can stick with you. 

At the end of the day, while they are fun to interpret, a dream is a dream is a dream and has no bearing on your true sexual identity. 

 

2. You've got gender roles on the brain.

This might sound far-fetched, but the brain works in mysterious ways...

If you have been actively thinking about gender roles (or actively subscribing to them in your daily life) it isn't rare to have a dream about a sexual encounter with a member of the same sex.

Nurse a friend through illness? Cook a meal for your family? Buy a cute pair of heels? These distinctly "feminine experiences" are examples of you embracing your own gender identity, and how better to do that than by frenching Angelina Jolie in your dreams?

 

3. You might be pregnant!

By the same logic, if you keep having dreams about sex with other women you MIGHT actually be pregnant.

Having sex with another woman is one of the most commonly reported dreams among pregnant women. 

It makes sense if you believe that gay sex dreams are conjured by embracing your gender identity: what's more "female" than having a kid growing inside of you (at least, in cis-gendered terms, anyway).

 

4. Remember, dreams are symbolic. 

Dreams. Are. Not. Real.

A dream cannot predict the future, but it can give you insight into the things that are currently on your mind.

Just because a dream says you are gay, it doesn't mean you are. But it could mean that you've been thinking about your own sexual orientation or gender identity as mentioned in the items above.

I mean, I once dreamed I was an eight-foot tall owl terrorizing the streets of Brooklyn. I don't have unresolved owl issues, I just ate too much cheese that day. 

 

Related: 10 Dating Tips For Gay Men (That Really EVERYONE Should Follow)

 

5. Sexuality is a spectrum. 

You might live your life as a straight person, but not be an entirely straight person. Sexuality is not black or white or all gay or all straight, there is a continuum and every person on Earth needs to find out where they fit on that spectrum.

A straight person can have gay fantasies or gay dreams that turn them on and that does not mean they are gay: it means they are a human being. 

So take a chill pill and enjoy those naughty dreams!